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Today was shitty, in unfortunately literal ways. Therefore, I bring you 1) the invitation to my great-great-great-grandfather to dinner with George Washington and 2) an order placed for plants for my great-great-great-grandfather (different side)'s house (in the country, at that time). Such an admixture, all jumbled up, is entirely typical of the 7 boxes my father is sorting through. I transcribe the roses from the latter for my rosarian friend (maybe you can help with the names?)

David Acheson, from George Washington

Plants order p1

Plants order p2

9 roses (at $4.00/dozen)
2 Abel Grand 2 Horace Vernet
2 M. de H. Amande 1 Boieldieu
1 Marquis of Salisbury 1 Pierre Grillon

5 roses (at $.060 each)
2 Mons Norman 1 Elise Boelle
1 Eugenie Verdier 1 Marie Baumann

2 roses (at $0.75 each)
1 Rev. J. B. M Carrim 1 Mme. Noman

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I don't do Yuletide; Actual Christmas has got enough bears for me.  Yesterday we managed to take a picture, send it to CVS, and pick up the resulting cards (viva les internets), and I addressed them all.  Now I must write thoughtful notes to the people I only talk to once a year at Christmas and mail them (including acquiring stamps).  I am waiting on a package to arrive, then need to turn around and mail a package out, I hope tomorrow morning early.  I pushed and got mr. flea to deal with his family's gifts on Saturday, so that is done.  We attended the neighborhood Christmas party and exchanged small gifts with our neighbors.  No more excess gifts cluttering up my kitchen counters.

The major issue is The Big Present for the kids.  We have not acquired it/them, nor decided what it/they is/are going to be.  And the "last day to buy!" emails I am getting this morning from all the big catalog/online shopping emporiums are not helping my stress levels.  And mr. flea took Dillo to Target Sunday to pick out a present for Casper and everything was so picked over they couldn't find what they wanted.  So I think we're going to run out to Toys R Us on our lunch hour today, and try to be done.  But I'm terrified we won't find anything.  The backup is Amazon with rush shipping this evening, if the toy store (and possibly Dick's sporting goods) don't work out.  Curse you, evil craigslist piano seller!  The down feeling of that is still hindering me in the picking of some other present.

Good things: We figured out how to video chat with mr. flea's sister, and the kids got to do that with their cousins, and it's easy (they are on macs as are we) and we can do it any time.  I also tested gmail video chat with my sister, although her bandwidth or processor on the netbook can't really hack it.  But we achieved proof of concept so Grandma can chat with the kids on Christmas.

We built amazing train bridges in the kitchen/dining room Sunday morning, and there was cooperation and creativity and fun.

I told the kids a version of the story in The Hobbit at bedtime Friday night, and we started reading it Saturday, and Casper ADORES it and begs for another chapter at odd moments.  We're five chapters in, and finished Riddles in the Dark last night (Dillo listens some but does not fully have the attention span or sophistication necessary; he fell asleep during a very tense scene!).  Casper was full of really probing and intelligent questions about Gollum and his background and history, and I explained some of the stuff we learn in LOTR, that's not covered in Hobbit.  You can keep your Harry Potter - The Hobbit beats it all hollow as far as being a good read imo.

This morning the kids are at the YMCA for the first of three "dynamic days."  This is Dillo's first time at the Y and he was not at all happy about the idea.  He was scared and was able to tell me he was scared.  His main concern seemed to be that he would have to be with the Chiefs and separated from his sister, but the dynamic days are small enough that they keep the ages all together.  So after a lot of crying I got him dressed and we arrived, and lovely Miss Jacquie who used to work at his school was greeting everyone, and she was wonderful, and they're going bowling today, and after only about 5 minutes he went off with Casper who was teaching him how to dribble a basketball.  So now my only big worry about the day is the possibility of him pooping in his pants, which is unfortunately quite likely, given that he did it several times yesterday.  He has a packed change of clothes, so whatever happens, happens.  Hopefully not in the swimming pool.
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I had to leave work because I was so stressed out about the girl scout meeting yesterday, and walked home sobbing.  Then I successfully managed to nap while roofers were working on the back porch.  (Since I'd been up since 4:30 am worrying about girl scouts.)

Of course, the meeting was fine.

So, on the list of things that can reduce me to gibbering idiocy?
1.  Dentists
2.  Girl Scouts

Xposting from Facebook, where many of y ou probably already saw it, for the immortality factor:
Dillo: "Mom, I forgot about the toilet and I went in the sink!"
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We managed to get after school to agree to allow Dillo to change his own pants if he wet them, and we send a ziplock with a complete change of clothes and plastic bag for the wet things every day in his backpack (because although he has the same in a cubby in his classroom, after school is not allowed to go and fetch that). In the week that elapsed since this change, he's only had one accident, which is encouraging. We've mostly been putting him in a pull-up to avoid washing that waterproof mattress pad and sheets every single day. In a pull-up he has a tendency to be dry in the mornings, go figure, though he overtopped it last Thursday. I went to school with him for 2 hours on Wednesday last and we was decidedly grumpy when it came time for me to go. It was worth it though - I think I will try to go every other week because it means he has a series of good days afterwards. He had a terrible Tuesday last week when his regular teacher was out at the doctor.

He remains sort of on-edge and needy a lot, especially if short of sleep or food, and can we get him to sleep on time or to eat appropriately? Of course not. Lots of LOUD CRYING today. His demand for snuggles is practically inexhaustible - I reached my limit after continuous snuggles from 5:30 to 7am yesterday.
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We are now 4 for 4 on nights in a row Dillo has peed in his bed. This is not a record I really wanted to break, you know?

In good news, I just had the marvelous idea to have grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner tonight.

Also, in I am such a geek news, I am totally excited about the research consultation about sophrosyne and temperentia and John Chrysostom I am having with a grad student at 9am today.
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At 12:15 Mrs. R called me to tell me that Dillo (who went to school in a pull-up today, part of mr. flea's way of dealing with the after school accidents) had pooped in his pants and it had gone up his back and on his naptime sheet, and he was going to need a bath so I needed to come get him.

mr. flea is in the field this week, so I hotfooted it the two miles to school and found Dillo sitting in the nurse's office by himself, still fully clothed, holding his sheet wrapped up in a plastic bag. He complained about how long it had taken me to get there. We walked home and I asked about what had happened. He was initially indignant that his teachers has not let him have a nap and had sent him to the office instead (he didn't complain about the poopy pants; they smelled him and investigated). He told me he needed to go to the bathroom at lunch but there was no teacher to ask (my guess is this is untrue; the paraprofessionals stay with the kids at lunch) and so he pooped in his pants at naptime. We talked about how school "takes too long" and he doesn't have anyone to play with (since Jimmy, who was a behavior problem, left.) I asked about Eli whom he has talked about and he said Eli is always in time out all day. I asked about other friendly-looking kids but he says they are not his friends.

Just this morning we discussed getting him some new sneakers as a treat this weekend if he stayed dry the rest of the week. So that's out. He doesn't seem embarrassed or upset. I don't know what to do. I am thinking of trying to spend the morning with his class tomorrow, so I can see what's up (I haven't been able to do that yet) and then having a meeting with Mrs. R, the after school director, and us, to try to figure out what to do. I am honestly tempted to inquire if they can take him back at his old day care, where he had accidents, but at least he wasn't a sassy pain in the ass all the time.


Oct. 5th, 2010 06:02 pm
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Dillo had an accident at after school again today. The person in charge told mr. flea it took half an hour to get him changed (WTF? he can change himself; two year olds at his Montessori changed themselves) and they are going to start calling us if he has an accident and we will have to come change him.

So, I dunno what we can do. I mean, it's not like we send him to school at 7:30 am saying, "Be sure to pee in your pants at afterschool!" I also note, he has never had an accident in his regular class, which runs until 2:30. They make them go to the bathroom in PreK, which IMO is age-appropriate. If you ask Dillo if he needs to pee, it's odds-on he'll say no even if he's dancing the pee-pee dance like mad.

If this keeps up I guess we will plan to pull both kids out of afterschool and pay someone to keep them at home. Because we can't leave work and change his pants several times a week; we need afterschool because we have, you know, JOBS.

You'd think that afterschool could think of a better way to handle this than punishing the parents. I'm not peeing in Dillo's pants, and there is NO WAY I can stop him from doing so if he wants to.
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Dillo: Mom, I made a huge poop! It was like giving birth! And I named him Biggie.

It's normal for about 65% of a 4 year old boy's thoughts to be about bodily functions, his penis, and nudity in general, right? He found a tastefully naked photo of Lady Gaga in the New Yorker (there were bubbles!) and wanted to tear it out and keep it.
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Casper was hilarious at dinner tonight. She told me Aydan is suspicious of her because "he doesn't like women" and also told me that she and Thomas kissed "again" today (I never heard about the first time) on the cheek, behind a tree.

And now we are having tears and recriminations, because homework is an idiotic word search. I thought Ms. C last year gave too much homework, but at least hers generally had a point or theme (spelling words based on the sound of the week). The generic word search makes me deeply skeptical about Mr. H as a teacher. (I hate word searches, not least because Casper sucks at them. And this one has some 30 word, many long and backwards and diagonal.)

And Dillo came home DRENCHED in pee. Seriously, at first I thought he'd been caught in the downpour we had, and then I had to ask if he'd fallen in the toilet.

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As we were getting into the car for a day trip to Atlanta yesterday, I suggested that we make some rules for the day's adventure.
me: What would be some good rules to make it a better day for everyone?
Casper: Have fun!
me: Good one!
Dillo: Don't pee in your pants!
me: Excellent one!
Casper: Try new things!
me: How about: Don't fight? Or: Be patient with each other?

They agreed, and we had a mostly good day. And Dillo managed not to pee in his pants until we got home (whereupon he did it twice, of course.)

ION Casper was reading aloud to me at bedtime last night, and I noticed that when she's the one reading, she is extremely fidgety and jiggling and falling off the bed. When I'm the one reading, she can lie quietly. I am wondering if it might help her to have a specific physical activity that she does while reading, if (as I think) the physical release is a comfort/help to her. Maybe a knee jiggle, or a finger exercise, or komboloi (Greek worry beads); ideally something she could use at school, too. My undergraduate professor of Greek sculpture, a legend in the field, always lectured with komboloi.
flea: (smilydillo)
Last night we went to Pump It Up, which is a local inflatable stuff birthday party emporium. It was our neighbor S's 5th birthday. The kids both had a great time, and Dillo was quite game, compared to the last time we were at Pump It Up (18 months ago), when he hid his face in my shirt for an hour.

This morning Dillo said to me: "Owen [our neighbor/his nemesis] pushed me down and I didn;t even cry or come to you!"

Such a big boy, such a difference a year has made.

In less fun news, we had a talk in the car with him this morning about the absolute disaster bedtime has become. I can take incessant pee OR bedtime battles, but I am not having both.

(Note old baby icon. Possibly I should make some new icons. Darn that baby was a cutie, though.)
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I started to title this post, "all about pee, as usual," but realized, I don't really want to rehash it all. There's been a lot of pee, people.

So, two nice things:

Casper can read. She's been reading me (or last night, all of us) new books every night, books she didn't think she could read until this week. Dora books (god, stupid Dora books), Arthur's Reading Race, Berenstain Bears, Frog and Toad, as well as Elephant and Piggie (which are a bit easier). She struggles occasionally but not too much. She is very proud of herself, and she is loving being able to read to me. I am loving it too. I wonder if it is even sweeter since I have been waiting so long (it feels like) for this.

Dillo is hilariously obsessed with counting to 100. He starts out and gets through the mid-teens okay, them fumbles around in the late teens and asks, "What do I say next?"
me: "Twenty"
Dillo: "21, 22, 23, 24, 27, ... what do I say next?"
me: "Thirty."
Dillo: "31, 32, 33, 34, ... what do I say next?"
et cetera. When we get to 100, he wants to start over. We have this conversation, verbatim, pretty much daily lately.

He also says, "oopsie-doopsie!"

Not about his peeing, however. I put him in a diaper last night for bed, and he peed through it.
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I spent a lot of this past weekend being angry at Dillo. This is a mark of my immaturity as much as his, I quickly add; he was just being a 3 year old boy, and a fairly easygoing one at that, but I was in no mood for endless snuggles and hands down the shirt and "play with me!" and energy. Sunday night was especially trying; he ate almost no dinner, ran about, took a bath pretty cooperatively, but then ran around the house naked and deliberately peed on the floor, and thought it was very funny indeed. I got to put him to bed and lie next to him as he said, "I'm hungry," over and over again until he fell asleep.

I went to bed angry at him and it was hot upstairs and first the ceiling squirrels and then Food, Inc. on Tivo woke me up, and I had to put the bathroom vent fan on to cool things down, and I finally fell asleep at about 11.

At 3am I awoke to crying in the living room. It was poor brave Dillo, armed with a flashlight, shaking with cold and fear and crying, "Mommy! Where are you?" Usually I'd have woken at the first real cry of his, but due to the fan I'd slept on. He'd peed in his bed and woken cold and wet. He climbed out of bed and turned on the light in his room (as he explained to me, because hew as "a little bit scared,") and accidentally peed a bunch more on the floor. (I guess he is well-hydrated.) I still didn't come so he got his flashlight and turned it on and came to find me. Such a brave scared little boo! I wiped his snotty nose and got him dry pants and praised him for knowing just what to do when there was a crisis in the night and I didn't come, and for being so brave, and installed him in my bed, where he quickly went back to sleep. Such a darling.
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mr. flea went in for a meeting with the Dillo's teacher today at lunch, so it seemed like a good time for an overall update.

He's 3.5 now, about 39 inches tall, 34 pounds according to the Wii. This means, IIRC, that's gained all of about 2 pounds in the last 18 months, which is not that surprising when you look at his figure and how it's changed (and is also developmentally appropriate). He's still got a round face and a round head and the snub nose he was born with, but the rest of him is no longer round - he's all slim and limby. He's definitely had a growth spurt this fall - I bought him 2T pants in September and they fit and now they are highwaters, so he's finally fully into 3T.

He's a bit fussy about clothes, and prefers "soft pants" (sweatpants and other elastic waist things - not jeans) and if given the choice would wear his black and orange striped pajama shirt 24/7. He likes stripes, and pajamas. We are laxer than we were with Casper - our rule is, you may wear ONE piece of your pajamas the next day to school (he usually picks the shirt) and you may not wear the same clothes two days in a row. (With Casper we had a "no pajamas at all" rule.) His hair is loooong and shaggy and I really should cut it, but he likes it long and you really can't cut the hair of a violently protesting child, can you? He dislikes having his hair washed at the moment, though liking baths otherwise, so I figure I'll wait until the phase passes before trying again with the scissors.

mr. flea reports that he's doing very well at school. It's a Montessori classroom, a primary classroom but the kids are almost all on the younger end of primary (3-4.5). His teacher says that in general she thinks he is advanced for his age, in social skills and skills. He and Evan and Adam are all very interested in their works, and spend more time together as a result. Dillo likes to do works and is really self-motivated and independent once he's understood them, and will sometimes move ahead before he is shown the next step. mr. flea came away feeling we are babying him a bit at home, and can give him more responsibility, on the one hand, and maybe expect a little more from him on the other. (Example: apparently he eats everything except tomatoes at school. At home, he's a pastafarian, and dinnertime is kind of a circus. So maybe we should impose a little more structure at meals at home.)

He's just starting figural drawing - drew a face of himself on the whiteboard last night, but was stumped about how to draw "his bones" and wanted my help. He speaks in complete sentences and is comprehensible. He knows some letters and sounds, and they work on this at school. He's interested in sound play and word play a little - replacing all the initial sounds in a sentence with the same consonant, like "BI'm the Biggest Barnibore, in the Betaceous Borest." Has been using his stomp rocket as a vacuum around the house, and we've had a lot of block and lego and train play - especially after mr. flea had the genius idea to use the Thomas duplo and dinosaur duplo together and make a Dinosaur Train!

His teacher reports that "butt" language is not a problem at school. It is one at home - every other word is "butt-butt" and he discovered the word "butt-hole" last week (I think at school - it's not something we say!) He teases his sister sometimes, and then cries when she gets angry at him. They're at a rocky point - he's old enough now to realize when she is being too bossy and to demand equality, but not old enough to be a real peer in many games. He's still a little shy/passive in the face of others' aggression at school, and shy with strangers - still buries his face in my neck. After a LOT of potty accidents over the break, he is mostly back on track, with occasional accidents rather than accidents as a matter of course.

I have been thinking of him as trying and exhausting and the other things I associate with being 3, so it was nice to get the glowing report from school about his maturity and self-motivation. He's a sweet boy, too, a cuddler, very lovey, in addition to being an energetic bouncy homework-distracting cookie-demanding three year old.
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Dec. 23rd: Leave home 5pm. Minor rush hour traffic in ATL. Stop at Mickey D's for dinner and Happy Meals have no toys!! (Drive-thru, so we didn't realize.) Bypass Chattanooga, children fall asleep 8pm, drive until 9:30, 20 miles south of Knoxville, hotel room.

Dec. 24th: Leave hotel 8am. Stop so mr. flea can pee, Dillo can pee, mr. flea can get coffee and Dillo can pee. Possibly more stopping for peeing in there. Pee is going to be a theme of the trip, let me warn you now. Stop at Mickey D's for lunch and Happy Meals have toys! Ponder anatomy of Blue Cats from Avatar. Observe road cuts and explain very elementary geology. Bypass Lexington. See some horsies. Go down the hill into Cincinnati and ponder weird blue and white wing-shaped building, which we later determine is on the Covington side. Drive up 71, cut across to Washington Courthouse. Driver becomes loopy, children become bickery. On seeing old remnants of snow in field, Southern-born child exclaims, "Cotton fields!" Arrive at cousins' house. Cousinly joy ensues. Dillo is taught to Wii bowl. Adorableness ensues. Eat not very good homemade pizza with double-inlaws (15 people). Leave for hotel with Dillo at 8pm; mr. flea returns to house to settle Casper on cousin's floor. Later discover they fall asleep at 11:15.

Dec. 25th: Get to cousins' house at 7:30; stockings have been opened by kids. Presents, phase 1, ensue. Casper very chuffed with American Girl and Dillo cleans up generally; Uncle Nate has been an especially good gifter. Breakfast, 15 people. Presents, phase OMG is this still going on. Long lassitude of day and unhappiness by me; Nerf gun shooting Wii by cousin. Dinner, with 17 people including evil Uncle Bobby (double-inlaw). Finally escape by 8:30 or so to put Dillo to bed. Casper again sleeps on floor and mr. flea stays up late talking to his parents.

Dec. 26th: Run up to Columbus to COSI in caravan of 3 cars (10 people), meet old college friend and tattoo compatriot E (hi E!), her husband, her mother, and 5 year old C and 10 month old H. COSI awesome, everyone happy. E has to leave ca. 1pm, we eat lunch at COSI, Casper totally melts dpown due to exhaustion and has to be carried to car. We take off for hotel and naps (which don't happen) and baths which do. Return to cousins' at 5, make lasagna, assemble gingerbread house, surviving sugar glue failure. Frost cookies with various family, a success. Eat lasagna, moderate success; eat cookies and gingerbread house, great success. This day definitely more festive than the previous one. Leave ca. 9pm to put Dillo to bed.

Dec. 27th: Final photos and goodbyes with cousins, leave 10am for Cincinnati. Meet old grad school friends for brunch and marvel at the awesomeness of Joseph-Beth bookstore in Rookwood. Go to father's at 2pm, play a little Wii with brother and his wife, kids open more nice presents (books/puzzles/Magic schoolbus and movies). It starts to snow and kids spend several stints outside very excited. mr. flea has nap. Dinner & we leave ca. 7:30 into blowing snow. Stop and get windshield wiper fluid (and for Dillo to pee, natch) and drive until 11:30pm. by which time we are south of snow. Dillo has peed in car seat in sleep. Joy. Hotel room.

Dec. 28th: leave hotel room by 9am, avoid traffic, good weather, much bickering and crankiness especially caused by bored Dillo making fights, under-caffeinated and under-fed me yelling a lot, and GIS unit lying and telling us there was a Starbucks where there was most definitely not (on a residential street in rural KY). Get home at 2pm. Sedate children with television.

The end. Dillo has been so backslidey on the potty that I am seriously considering returning him to diapers for a punishment.
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[Casper]'s wish list

-Bunny [They went to the pet store to buy cat food while I grocery shopped.]
-Doll hous mansion.
-My baby first steps. [This is apparently a Wii game.]
-A flat Screen TV.

Yeah, not so much. Though I am starting to fantasize about a second TV, so I can veg and watch football while they veg and watch Spongebob. But that way lies cable and a TV in every room.

Casper is actually getting American Girl Doll Julie (1974, with looong blonde hair and brown eyes.)

I am off to work shortly and GLAD. The kids have been bickering like mad all weekend (including hitting each other), Casper cries when yelled at (for doing things like grabbing things out of her brother's hand) and Dillo seems to have been on a mission to poop or pee in every single pair of underpants he owns.
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The kids are now both old enough that I can leave them with Grandma with almost no qualms about how things will go. (I do expect the possibility of tiffs between my hard-headed daughter and my hard-headed mother, and generally get them.)

Grandma and husband are off to Asheville, leaving me in great hopes that mr. flea arrives at the Athens airport as scheduled at 4:40pm, because I don't have a backup plan to collect Dillo from school if mr. flea ends up kicking his heels in Denver or someplace. Taxi, or my neighbors (who would be happy to help and there are enough of them that one should be home), I guess, would be the answer.

Had parent breakfast at Casper's school today. Thomas' mother informs me that Thomas told her that Casper plans to marry him. This is news to me, but he's actually a great kid, so if she still feels this way in 20 years and can convince him, I'd be okay with it. He's going to be tall enough, too (his parents are as tall as we are). Lots of parents showed up, including many of the ones you always suspect won't, and I got to spend some nice time talking to kids who were parentless as well as loving on my kid. I told Jeremiah he had a beautiful name and he was so shyly pleased. There are a bunch of seriously beautiful children in Casper's class.

Dillo had a charming habit of hating it when I push up my sleeves. He always pulls them down for me. He is doing GREAT on the potty lately, and I feel like we are finally finished with diapers in my house!

Tomorrow is mr. flea's birthday and I am planless. It's been a very distracted week, all out of routine and dealing with Mother. I am also planless for Thanksgiving and Christmas (though I have preliminary gifts bought for my mother and siblings at least.) This weekend needs to see some serious planning happen.

(Oh! Grandma got the kids flu-misted yesterday at the county. They got 2 of the last 3 available doses of mist, but the county did have some shots. They say they need another dose in a month, but we'll see how the WHO/CDC work this advice out in the next month, and also, will they actually have any in a month?)
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Dillo is such a wild thing right now. Everything is "bum bum," which is his version of potty language, although he rarely brings out the poo-poo and pee-pee. But songs, rhymes, etc, all get "bum bum" added in every other word. And then he makes a goofy face and/or a fart noise. He also has a (self-derived, apparently) nickname for his penis. He recently learned how to mock his sister, when we were watching a documentary about wild horses and one of them died. She lost it and was sobbing and he started going, "wah, wah, the horsie died!" Ah, little brothers, how you can suck. (I mean, he's three, and the concept of death is still beyond him - it's definitely a 4 year old concept in my experience - but still.)

It's going to be a real challenge dealing with him solo this week. mr. flea has been on exclusive night duty for months, because a) he's up until 9:30pm and b) he's a WILD ANIMAL and I have NO PATIENCE.

Also, still in the 'needs constant reminding' potty phase. He has accidents at school about every other day still.

pee update

Sep. 10th, 2009 08:15 am
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mr. flea (correction: he reports Dillo learned at school) taught Dillo to pee standing up about a week ago. He's a little drippy on the floor after the fact, but hey, three years old. (Note to self: must clean bathrooms more frequently than I am currently doing.)

Dillo has also been dry on wakeup (in diapers) consistently for nearly a week. I think it's too soon to go diaper free overnight, but I think it's a good sign, and maybe we'll start trying in a few weeks.

after later

Sep. 2nd, 2009 06:57 pm
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This is one of Dillo's favorite phrases; things aren't saved for later, they're saved for "after later." I've taken to saying it myself now!

He's been backsliding on the potty front - aside from what I am pretty sure was an illness-induced incident of pooping on the porch, he's still good with poop, but he has pee accidents frequently now - often 1-2 a day for the last 10 days. Last night he was naked after his bath and just stood there while peeing on the rug. (Previously he was 100% reliable while naked.) He was amused with himself and my anger, so we'll need to tread carefully to prevent making this a battle of wills. He's clearly testing, at home; not sure what the deal is at school. They make him change himself, I am pretty sure, but he seems to actually be proud to carry home a plastic bag with wet pants in it. Still in diapers overnight.


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