flea

I don't do Yuletide; Actual Christmas has got enough bears for me.  Yesterday we managed to take a picture, send it to CVS, and pick up the resulting cards (viva les internets), and I addressed them all.  Now I must write thoughtful notes to the people I only talk to once a year at Christmas and mail them (including acquiring stamps).  I am waiting on a package to arrive, then need to turn around and mail a package out, I hope tomorrow morning early.  I pushed and got mr. flea to deal with his family's gifts on Saturday, so that is done.  We attended the neighborhood Christmas party and exchanged small gifts with our neighbors.  No more excess gifts cluttering up my kitchen counters.

The major issue is The Big Present for the kids.  We have not acquired it/them, nor decided what it/they is/are going to be.  And the "last day to buy!" emails I am getting this morning from all the big catalog/online shopping emporiums are not helping my stress levels.  And mr. flea took Dillo to Target Sunday to pick out a present for Casper and everything was so picked over they couldn't find what they wanted.  So I think we're going to run out to Toys R Us on our lunch hour today, and try to be done.  But I'm terrified we won't find anything.  The backup is Amazon with rush shipping this evening, if the toy store (and possibly Dick's sporting goods) don't work out.  Curse you, evil craigslist piano seller!  The down feeling of that is still hindering me in the picking of some other present.

Good things: We figured out how to video chat with mr. flea's sister, and the kids got to do that with their cousins, and it's easy (they are on macs as are we) and we can do it any time.  I also tested gmail video chat with my sister, although her bandwidth or processor on the netbook can't really hack it.  But we achieved proof of concept so Grandma can chat with the kids on Christmas.

We built amazing train bridges in the kitchen/dining room Sunday morning, and there was cooperation and creativity and fun.

I told the kids a version of the story in The Hobbit at bedtime Friday night, and we started reading it Saturday, and Casper ADORES it and begs for another chapter at odd moments.  We're five chapters in, and finished Riddles in the Dark last night (Dillo listens some but does not fully have the attention span or sophistication necessary; he fell asleep during a very tense scene!).  Casper was full of really probing and intelligent questions about Gollum and his background and history, and I explained some of the stuff we learn in LOTR, that's not covered in Hobbit.  You can keep your Harry Potter - The Hobbit beats it all hollow as far as being a good read imo.

This morning the kids are at the YMCA for the first of three "dynamic days."  This is Dillo's first time at the Y and he was not at all happy about the idea.  He was scared and was able to tell me he was scared.  His main concern seemed to be that he would have to be with the Chiefs and separated from his sister, but the dynamic days are small enough that they keep the ages all together.  So after a lot of crying I got him dressed and we arrived, and lovely Miss Jacquie who used to work at his school was greeting everyone, and she was wonderful, and they're going bowling today, and after only about 5 minutes he went off with Casper who was teaching him how to dribble a basketball.  So now my only big worry about the day is the possibility of him pooping in his pants, which is unfortunately quite likely, given that he did it several times yesterday.  He has a packed change of clothes, so whatever happens, happens.  Hopefully not in the swimming pool.

We managed to get after school to agree to allow Dillo to change his own pants if he wet them, and we send a ziplock with a complete change of clothes and plastic bag for the wet things every day in his backpack (because although he has the same in a cubby in his classroom, after school is not allowed to go and fetch that). In the week that elapsed since this change, he's only had one accident, which is encouraging. We've mostly been putting him in a pull-up to avoid washing that waterproof mattress pad and sheets every single day. In a pull-up he has a tendency to be dry in the mornings, go figure, though he overtopped it last Thursday. I went to school with him for 2 hours on Wednesday last and we was decidedly grumpy when it came time for me to go. It was worth it though - I think I will try to go every other week because it means he has a series of good days afterwards. He had a terrible Tuesday last week when his regular teacher was out at the doctor.

He remains sort of on-edge and needy a lot, especially if short of sleep or food, and can we get him to sleep on time or to eat appropriately? Of course not. Lots of LOUD CRYING today. His demand for snuggles is practically inexhaustible - I reached my limit after continuous snuggles from 5:30 to 7am yesterday.

At 12:15 Mrs. R called me to tell me that Dillo (who went to school in a pull-up today, part of mr. flea's way of dealing with the after school accidents) had pooped in his pants and it had gone up his back and on his naptime sheet, and he was going to need a bath so I needed to come get him.

mr. flea is in the field this week, so I hotfooted it the two miles to school and found Dillo sitting in the nurse's office by himself, still fully clothed, holding his sheet wrapped up in a plastic bag. He complained about how long it had taken me to get there. We walked home and I asked about what had happened. He was initially indignant that his teachers has not let him have a nap and had sent him to the office instead (he didn't complain about the poopy pants; they smelled him and investigated). He told me he needed to go to the bathroom at lunch but there was no teacher to ask (my guess is this is untrue; the paraprofessionals stay with the kids at lunch) and so he pooped in his pants at naptime. We talked about how school "takes too long" and he doesn't have anyone to play with (since Jimmy, who was a behavior problem, left.) I asked about Eli whom he has talked about and he said Eli is always in time out all day. I asked about other friendly-looking kids but he says they are not his friends.

Just this morning we discussed getting him some new sneakers as a treat this weekend if he stayed dry the rest of the week. So that's out. He doesn't seem embarrassed or upset. I don't know what to do. I am thinking of trying to spend the morning with his class tomorrow, so I can see what's up (I haven't been able to do that yet) and then having a meeting with Mrs. R, the after school director, and us, to try to figure out what to do. I am honestly tempted to inquire if they can take him back at his old day care, where he had accidents, but at least he wasn't a sassy pain in the ass all the time.

Dillo: Mom, I made a huge poop! It was like giving birth! And I named him Biggie.

It's normal for about 65% of a 4 year old boy's thoughts to be about bodily functions, his penis, and nudity in general, right? He found a tastefully naked photo of Lady Gaga in the New Yorker (there were bubbles!) and wanted to tear it out and keep it.

As we were getting into the car for a day trip to Atlanta yesterday, I suggested that we make some rules for the day's adventure.
me: What would be some good rules to make it a better day for everyone?
Casper: Have fun!
me: Good one!
Dillo: Don't pee in your pants!
me: Excellent one!
Casper: Try new things!
me: How about: Don't fight? Or: Be patient with each other?

They agreed, and we had a mostly good day. And Dillo managed not to pee in his pants until we got home (whereupon he did it twice, of course.)

ION Casper was reading aloud to me at bedtime last night, and I noticed that when she's the one reading, she is extremely fidgety and jiggling and falling off the bed. When I'm the one reading, she can lie quietly. I am wondering if it might help her to have a specific physical activity that she does while reading, if (as I think) the physical release is a comfort/help to her. Maybe a knee jiggle, or a finger exercise, or komboloi (Greek worry beads); ideally something she could use at school, too. My undergraduate professor of Greek sculpture, a legend in the field, always lectured with komboloi.

I started to title this post, "all about pee, as usual," but realized, I don't really want to rehash it all. There's been a lot of pee, people.

So, two nice things:

Casper can read. She's been reading me (or last night, all of us) new books every night, books she didn't think she could read until this week. Dora books (god, stupid Dora books), Arthur's Reading Race, Berenstain Bears, Frog and Toad, as well as Elephant and Piggie (which are a bit easier). She struggles occasionally but not too much. She is very proud of herself, and she is loving being able to read to me. I am loving it too. I wonder if it is even sweeter since I have been waiting so long (it feels like) for this.

Dillo is hilariously obsessed with counting to 100. He starts out and gets through the mid-teens okay, them fumbles around in the late teens and asks, "What do I say next?"
me: "Twenty"
Dillo: "21, 22, 23, 24, 27, ... what do I say next?"
me: "Thirty."
Dillo: "31, 32, 33, 34, ... what do I say next?"
et cetera. When we get to 100, he wants to start over. We have this conversation, verbatim, pretty much daily lately.

He also says, "oopsie-doopsie!"

Not about his peeing, however. I put him in a diaper last night for bed, and he peed through it.

mr. flea went in for a meeting with the Dillo's teacher today at lunch, so it seemed like a good time for an overall update.

He's 3.5 now, about 39 inches tall, 34 pounds according to the Wii. This means, IIRC, that's gained all of about 2 pounds in the last 18 months, which is not that surprising when you look at his figure and how it's changed (and is also developmentally appropriate). He's still got a round face and a round head and the snub nose he was born with, but the rest of him is no longer round - he's all slim and limby. He's definitely had a growth spurt this fall - I bought him 2T pants in September and they fit and now they are highwaters, so he's finally fully into 3T.

He's a bit fussy about clothes, and prefers "soft pants" (sweatpants and other elastic waist things - not jeans) and if given the choice would wear his black and orange striped pajama shirt 24/7. He likes stripes, and pajamas. We are laxer than we were with Casper - our rule is, you may wear ONE piece of your pajamas the next day to school (he usually picks the shirt) and you may not wear the same clothes two days in a row. (With Casper we had a "no pajamas at all" rule.) His hair is loooong and shaggy and I really should cut it, but he likes it long and you really can't cut the hair of a violently protesting child, can you? He dislikes having his hair washed at the moment, though liking baths otherwise, so I figure I'll wait until the phase passes before trying again with the scissors.

mr. flea reports that he's doing very well at school. It's a Montessori classroom, a primary classroom but the kids are almost all on the younger end of primary (3-4.5). His teacher says that in general she thinks he is advanced for his age, in social skills and skills. He and Evan and Adam are all very interested in their works, and spend more time together as a result. Dillo likes to do works and is really self-motivated and independent once he's understood them, and will sometimes move ahead before he is shown the next step. mr. flea came away feeling we are babying him a bit at home, and can give him more responsibility, on the one hand, and maybe expect a little more from him on the other. (Example: apparently he eats everything except tomatoes at school. At home, he's a pastafarian, and dinnertime is kind of a circus. So maybe we should impose a little more structure at meals at home.)

He's just starting figural drawing - drew a face of himself on the whiteboard last night, but was stumped about how to draw "his bones" and wanted my help. He speaks in complete sentences and is comprehensible. He knows some letters and sounds, and they work on this at school. He's interested in sound play and word play a little - replacing all the initial sounds in a sentence with the same consonant, like "BI'm the Biggest Barnibore, in the Betaceous Borest." Has been using his stomp rocket as a vacuum around the house, and we've had a lot of block and lego and train play - especially after mr. flea had the genius idea to use the Thomas duplo and dinosaur duplo together and make a Dinosaur Train!

His teacher reports that "butt" language is not a problem at school. It is one at home - every other word is "butt-butt" and he discovered the word "butt-hole" last week (I think at school - it's not something we say!) He teases his sister sometimes, and then cries when she gets angry at him. They're at a rocky point - he's old enough now to realize when she is being too bossy and to demand equality, but not old enough to be a real peer in many games. He's still a little shy/passive in the face of others' aggression at school, and shy with strangers - still buries his face in my neck. After a LOT of potty accidents over the break, he is mostly back on track, with occasional accidents rather than accidents as a matter of course.

I have been thinking of him as trying and exhausting and the other things I associate with being 3, so it was nice to get the glowing report from school about his maturity and self-motivation. He's a sweet boy, too, a cuddler, very lovey, in addition to being an energetic bouncy homework-distracting cookie-demanding three year old.

[Casper]'s wish list

-Bunny [They went to the pet store to buy cat food while I grocery shopped.]
-Doll hous mansion.
-My baby first steps. [This is apparently a Wii game.]
-A flat Screen TV.

Yeah, not so much. Though I am starting to fantasize about a second TV, so I can veg and watch football while they veg and watch Spongebob. But that way lies cable and a TV in every room.

Casper is actually getting American Girl Doll Julie (1974, with looong blonde hair and brown eyes.)

I am off to work shortly and GLAD. The kids have been bickering like mad all weekend (including hitting each other), Casper cries when yelled at (for doing things like grabbing things out of her brother's hand) and Dillo seems to have been on a mission to poop or pee in every single pair of underpants he owns.

Dillo is such a wild thing right now. Everything is "bum bum," which is his version of potty language, although he rarely brings out the poo-poo and pee-pee. But songs, rhymes, etc, all get "bum bum" added in every other word. And then he makes a goofy face and/or a fart noise. He also has a (self-derived, apparently) nickname for his penis. He recently learned how to mock his sister, when we were watching a documentary about wild horses and one of them died. She lost it and was sobbing and he started going, "wah, wah, the horsie died!" Ah, little brothers, how you can suck. (I mean, he's three, and the concept of death is still beyond him - it's definitely a 4 year old concept in my experience - but still.)

It's going to be a real challenge dealing with him solo this week. mr. flea has been on exclusive night duty for months, because a) he's up until 9:30pm and b) he's a WILD ANIMAL and I have NO PATIENCE.

Also, still in the 'needs constant reminding' potty phase. He has accidents at school about every other day still.

This is one of Dillo's favorite phrases; things aren't saved for later, they're saved for "after later." I've taken to saying it myself now!

He's been backsliding on the potty front - aside from what I am pretty sure was an illness-induced incident of pooping on the porch, he's still good with poop, but he has pee accidents frequently now - often 1-2 a day for the last 10 days. Last night he was naked after his bath and just stood there while peeing on the rug. (Previously he was 100% reliable while naked.) He was amused with himself and my anger, so we'll need to tread carefully to prevent making this a battle of wills. He's clearly testing, at home; not sure what the deal is at school. They make him change himself, I am pretty sure, but he seems to actually be proud to carry home a plastic bag with wet pants in it. Still in diapers overnight.