flea: (Default)
[personal profile] flea
At 12:15 Mrs. R called me to tell me that Dillo (who went to school in a pull-up today, part of mr. flea's way of dealing with the after school accidents) had pooped in his pants and it had gone up his back and on his naptime sheet, and he was going to need a bath so I needed to come get him.

mr. flea is in the field this week, so I hotfooted it the two miles to school and found Dillo sitting in the nurse's office by himself, still fully clothed, holding his sheet wrapped up in a plastic bag. He complained about how long it had taken me to get there. We walked home and I asked about what had happened. He was initially indignant that his teachers has not let him have a nap and had sent him to the office instead (he didn't complain about the poopy pants; they smelled him and investigated). He told me he needed to go to the bathroom at lunch but there was no teacher to ask (my guess is this is untrue; the paraprofessionals stay with the kids at lunch) and so he pooped in his pants at naptime. We talked about how school "takes too long" and he doesn't have anyone to play with (since Jimmy, who was a behavior problem, left.) I asked about Eli whom he has talked about and he said Eli is always in time out all day. I asked about other friendly-looking kids but he says they are not his friends.

Just this morning we discussed getting him some new sneakers as a treat this weekend if he stayed dry the rest of the week. So that's out. He doesn't seem embarrassed or upset. I don't know what to do. I am thinking of trying to spend the morning with his class tomorrow, so I can see what's up (I haven't been able to do that yet) and then having a meeting with Mrs. R, the after school director, and us, to try to figure out what to do. I am honestly tempted to inquire if they can take him back at his old day care, where he had accidents, but at least he wasn't a sassy pain in the ass all the time.

Date: 2010-10-07 10:37 pm (UTC)
sara: S (Default)
From: [personal profile] sara
It certainly sounds like something is Not Working (and, dunno if I said this before, but your experience is making me think that my ongoing feeling that my boy should just stay at the daycare where is is happy, is a feeling I should listen to).

Herself was having potty accidents this year at the start of school because she was unclear on what the bathroom rules were. Once I went in and had a conversation with her teacher about the rules, in front of her, we stopped having problems.

Date: 2010-10-08 11:28 pm (UTC)
vwbug: (Default)
From: [personal profile] vwbug
I had to go back and read the history on this before I commented, and I have to say I am not any less appalled at the school's actions here.

I understand the frustration of accidents at school, but you're working with preschoolers. If you don't want to have to deal with accidents, you should be teaching much older children. MUCH. And there is NO reason it should take 30 minutes to change a child from an accident, unless there are other issues going on. And, if that is the case, then they can't say that it's an "accident" issue.

The best way to deal with accidents at a school is to make them absolutely no big deal. Kids that age don't have a lot of control over things in their life, and peeing or pooping their pants is one way to show control. We had a little girl this summer who's mom was pregnant. Any time you mentioned the new baby, she'd pee her pants. She didn't want a new baby sister, and the only way she knew to express that was to pee her pants. This is an issue to be dealt with--not punitively, but by figuring out what is going on at the root and working with the child and the family to improve the situation.

And a four-year-old can be coached to clean up even a poop accident. Here in MA, EEC dictates that we can't touch a child that old and wipe them, etc. But, they absolutely can be coached through cleaning themselves up.

I'm mortified at the administration and teacher at this school. I'd like to have a chat with them myself. They should be working harder to work with Dillo than making the situation worse, and giving Dillo a reason to have accidents--he gets to see mom/dad/go home. NOT OK.

Date: 2010-10-09 02:59 am (UTC)
forodwaith: (career woman)
From: [personal profile] forodwaith
Damn, I'm sorry. I hope you can work out something with Mrs R.

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