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fleaWhen it all comes down to it, I honestly don't think we're all that good at this parenting gig. We're not abusive, or neglectful, but we just sort of muddle through and I don't think we have much of a gift for it. mr. flea is long on loving but overindulgent and can't discipline his way out of a wet paper bag; Casper has him wrapped around her little finger. I am easily bored and impatient and easily overwhelmed and can get very angry (I can discipline my way through three new york telephone books, but am not notably more effective than mr. wet paper bag). I notice our faults much more with Casper. Whether this means we are a worse fit for her as parents, she is old enough to push our buttons very well, or we've learned something and are doing a better job with Dillo, I'm not sure. I do feel sorry for her as a first child - our experiment, the one we screw things up on first. Even if we screw them up again with Dillo, we aren't complete novices.
The weekend started poorly, with Dillo vomit in the night on Friday. This was the first time he's actually been pukey. He spit up a ton as a baby, but that's a whole different animal. He begged for water or juice or milk but when we gave him half an inch of water he threw it up, so we kept him off liquids for several hours. He didn't sleep well and complained a lot. Was pretty much fine by 10 am or so, though, and had a big afternoon nap since he'd lost so much sleep in the night.
Otherwise we did a fair amount of socializing, with neighbors Saturday, and then more formally, with two arranged play dates for Casper Sunday (one with another new family who lives nearby, and one with the twins' grandmother). I had brunch with work people, which was just okay (no families invited, a big dog at the house - my already minimal dog-person-ness is on the decline). mr. flea drove Dillo all over northeast Georgia in an attempt to get him to nap today and only got 40 minutes. And then the evening, in which Casper was Difficult and I felt made of fail.
I'd gone off my anti-depressants shortly before we moved, which I knew was stupid, and mr. flea, when he learned last week, told me was stupid, so you don't need to add to that chorus, thanks. But we all do stupid things sometimes, and I was so distracted I was honestly forgetting to take them half the time, and I wondered if they were actually doing anything. It would seem so, at this point, and I still have some, so back on I go, I guess. I am still a little resistant to the idea.
I think that I would think I am a mediocre parent even if I were still on my meds, though. Antidepressants, for me, are a bit like tact. They don't change what's true, it just means I don't talk/think about the truth as much. And let's face it, human kind cannot bear very much reality.
The weekend started poorly, with Dillo vomit in the night on Friday. This was the first time he's actually been pukey. He spit up a ton as a baby, but that's a whole different animal. He begged for water or juice or milk but when we gave him half an inch of water he threw it up, so we kept him off liquids for several hours. He didn't sleep well and complained a lot. Was pretty much fine by 10 am or so, though, and had a big afternoon nap since he'd lost so much sleep in the night.
Otherwise we did a fair amount of socializing, with neighbors Saturday, and then more formally, with two arranged play dates for Casper Sunday (one with another new family who lives nearby, and one with the twins' grandmother). I had brunch with work people, which was just okay (no families invited, a big dog at the house - my already minimal dog-person-ness is on the decline). mr. flea drove Dillo all over northeast Georgia in an attempt to get him to nap today and only got 40 minutes. And then the evening, in which Casper was Difficult and I felt made of fail.
I'd gone off my anti-depressants shortly before we moved, which I knew was stupid, and mr. flea, when he learned last week, told me was stupid, so you don't need to add to that chorus, thanks. But we all do stupid things sometimes, and I was so distracted I was honestly forgetting to take them half the time, and I wondered if they were actually doing anything. It would seem so, at this point, and I still have some, so back on I go, I guess. I am still a little resistant to the idea.
I think that I would think I am a mediocre parent even if I were still on my meds, though. Antidepressants, for me, are a bit like tact. They don't change what's true, it just means I don't talk/think about the truth as much. And let's face it, human kind cannot bear very much reality.
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Date: 2008-08-25 02:27 am (UTC)Luckily LB is human too, and really all kids want is to be loved (and fed and clothed, and sometimes they're willing to waive "clothed").
I feel like every child is disappointed in their parents in SOME way, and even if you were "practically perfect in every way" you'd disappoint them by being a paragon that they couldn't possibly live up to.
And (from my statistically insignificant sample) it does seem to get easier as they get older; LB at 8 is SO much more reasonable now than he was even two years ago, and he sees so much more of other people's home lives now that he is older that he is learning from other them as well as us, which is good and bad.