flea: (Default)
I am looking ahead to what may be a year of great changes - the biggest changes since 2003 (which brought Casper and the whole new world of Life as Parent.)

I'm kind of afraid to have any expectations for what those changes may be. The past couple of years our Christmas letter (generally written by mr. flea with a little collaboration from me) has suggested mr. flea will finish his dissertation, get a job, and move us somewhere. I expected this in summer 2006; I expected this in summer 2007; I even sort of expected it in December 2007. If it's going to happen at all, it's got to happen in 2008, and if it's not going to happen, well, something's got to happen. It's hardly surprising I've pretty much given up trying to have expectations in this vein.

Here are some hopes I have, and I hope they are vague enough that I can roll with whatever punches come along.

1. End 2008 at least halfway to my library science degree.
2. Have a garden of some kind. Even if it has to be a fictional Livejournal garden.
3. Make it to Woods Hole, I hope this time with mr. flea coming too.
4. End the year in a financial position where I can start contributing to retirement funds again.

Here are some unanswered questions that will need to be addressed this year:
1. Where will we live?
2. Will we buy a house?
3. Who will work, and doing what?
4. Will we have a third child? (I'll be 36 in September, and Dillo will be 2 in July. This won't be a conversation that HAS to be had this year, but it's pretty likely to come up by the end of the year.)
5. What do we really want in our lives, and how will we get there?
flea: (Default)
Books: 39 total.
32 new to me
7 re-reads

They break down evenly into fiction (mostly romance, a few mysteries, and Little Women) and non-fiction (all over the map).

I'd like to read more next year. I'd also like to get a paid LibraryThing account and really get a hold of the books we own plus the books I've read but don't own.

Resolutions:
1. Talk to my brother at least once a month. Didn't happen, though I did remember the resolution and call him a couple more times than I would have done otherwise.

2. Bake bread once a month. I didn't bake any bread all year. Probably because of the damned resolution.

3. Lose what Casper affectionately refers to as my "chubby little belly." Lost it, was too-skinny over the summer, now back at normal or normal plus one or two, due to holiday indulgences.

4. Work at being happy. I think I did work, some. Not sure I succeeded.

Good things I did this year, though I didn't resolve to do them:
-Got both me and Casper to the dentist, despite the expense and hatefulness of it.

-Took to hanging most of the laundry out to dry, saving electricity (it's made a notable change in the bills).

-Participated in a book club. I've read some books and met some people I wouldn't have, even if I have suffered some social anxiety and ambivalence about it.

-Re-took the GRE, applied to and got into grad school for a library science degree, and completed my first class.

-Got me and mr. flea to see a counselor together, to try and work together and get forward motion in our lives, practically and in terms of our relationship.

Tomorrow, looking forward. Next year may be a big year for us.

Resolutions

Jan. 1st, 2007 06:31 pm
flea: (Default)
1. Talk to my brother at least once a month. He could use the support, and I enjoy talking to him. It's just teenaged-boy-induced habit that I don't, and he's 28 now.

2. Bake bread once a month. The goal is to develop a feel, so that every loaf is not an experience fraught with anxiety (and expired yeast.)

3. Lose what Casper affectionately refers to as my "chubby little belly." I don't mind the extra 10 pounds on the rest of me, except for the whole problematic pants fitting thing. In fact, the hint of lushness is attractive (as those of you who've met me know, I am so not lush.) But the belly roll bugs me.

4. Work at being happy. It is work, for me; I am happiest when active and busy and with little time for reflection. This means getting as much sleep as possible (because it takes energy to be active) and not lying to myself and thinking that sitting around the house all weekend will be relaxing. With small children, getting out and doing stuff is actually more relaxing. And it wears the kids out. Working at appreciating the small things is part of the work of being happy, too.
flea: (Default)
These were last year's resolutions:
1. Spend more time outdoors. And preferably in a natural setting, not just the yard and the park, though those are nice too.
2. FLOSS.
3. Wean Casper.
4. Potty-train Casper.
5. Harness my powers for good at work. If bored, do something productive.

Succeeded in 3. Aaaaalmost there with 4 (she's pooped in the potty twice since we've been home from Ohio!!!). Sorta doing 5. 1, eh. 2, not so much.

In many ways this was a good year for me and my family. I had a healthy, happy son; my daughter, while occasionally trying, continues to be a lively, beautiful, clever, loving creature; my husband loves me and is an excellent father and partner; we are all in good health and well-housed, -clothed, and -fed. In this we are doing so much better than most of the people on the planet.

On the down side, looking back on this year I feel that I was depressed at a low level for much of it. I spent this pregnancy cranky as hell; I actually came *this* close to physically attacking someone at work at one point. Since the baby's birth I've just felt like things are grinding along - routine, surviviable, but not flourishing the way I should be, given the obvious blessings in my life. I also have a simmering anger at the not-finishedness of mr. flea's dissertation, and the not-moving-forwardness of our lives.

Tomorrow: ideas on making progress on these topics. And maybe flossing, I mean it this year!

resolutions

Jan. 2nd, 2006 05:51 pm
flea: (Default)
1. Spend more time outdoors. And preferably in a natural setting, not just the yard and the park, though those are nice too.
2. FLOSS.
3. Wean Casper.
4. Potty-train Casper.
5. Harness my powers for good at work. If bored, do something productive.

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