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Aug. 15
"Mom, would making a friend from earwax be over-weird?" (Dillo)
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Old friend who just had first baby: Anybody have a particular breast pump they can recommend?
Someone I don't know: Medea worked best for me.
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Many married women I know have themselves listed on Facebook as Firstname Maidenname Lastname. In many cases that I know of, they use just Firstname Lastname in real life - including both socially and professionally - but use both last names on Facebook presumably to make it easier to connect with old friends from high school, etc.

Where do you stand? Do you think this Facebook naming practice will influence the way women change (or don't) their names upon marriage in the real world, too?

(Note, I didn't change my name on marrying, and never considered it. The kids have mr. flea's last name, and I didn't argue for mine or give them mine as a middle. Just the way it turned out for us. Myname MrFlea'sLastName would be pretty hilarious, based on sound, even if I had considered changing.)
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As a result of Facebook, I have found three unexpected connections between friends of mine:

1. Someone from b.org turns out to be friends with a college professor of mine. I'm pretty sure they know each other from the Boston alternative music scene of the 1980s.

2. Someone from b.org turns out to be friends with a former coworker. They are both librarians who have an interest in intellectual property issues.

3. Someone from b.org turns out to be friends with a former coworker's husband. They are both involved in the local theater scene.

I think the message is, we b.orgians are everywhere. Watch out.
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I have strange dreams, with mixed people from my past in them, since the Facebook thing happened. Last night I had a long and intimate talk with a classmate from 8th grade through high school (who is not on Facebook) about leaving our archaeology careers (the classmate was never an archaeologist, to my knowledge). Then I visited my undergraduate advisor (who is not on Facebook) about my dissertation, and taking it up again, and met with a woman (a composite who doesn't exist, thus definitely not on Facebook) who had just been on Oprah, and talked to her about Gap Perfect Trousers (which I tried on this weekend at the mall but did not buy, in part because I had my pants off in the dressing room when both kids escaped by crawling under the dressing room door, and by the time I got my pants on and went after them, Dillo was outside the store and heading off in all directions. Am not yet used to having a runner for a kid. Casper never ran. She is pretty decent at chasing down and tackling the Dillo, but we try to discourage the actual tackling.)

I am very satisfied at having found my childhood best friend on Facebook. Somehow all the friends and friendly acquaintances I expected never to see again being linked to me again, however tenuously, makes me feel less lonely in this world. Like friendly apparitions in an online cloud.

Yes, I am a little tipsy (after 1 cider with a full dinner, lightweight.)
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I find it hilarious that people are still writing articles about how terrible it is that GROWN-UPS are now on Facebook. I've been on for maybe 18 months. At first my friends were mostly coworkers, but in the last 6 months the alumni explosion has happened. I haven't systematically looked for everyone I knew in high school or college; if I had I'd have even more friends. Right now I have 330 friends, and I just went through the first 100 (alphabetically, which got me into F) ticking off my connections:

Family: 6 (siblings, cousins, bro's fiancee)
Pre-high school: 1
High School: 5
College: 8
Grad School: 10
Old Job: 22
Social Life in Durham (neighbors, la leche league, book club, etc.): 8
Current Job: 5
Social Life in Athens (neighbors, PTO, etc.): 6
Buffistas: 27
Other (mr. flea's old friends, stuff like that): 2

Of the 100, 28 are men. Four are non-white.

The youngest is 14 and the oldest about 65, but the majority of them are between 30 and 40.

Overall I think I have three current college students as friends (two of them my brother and his fiancee). The vast majority of the people I am friends with on Facebook are white upper-middle class professionals in their 30s, several of whom seem to delight in scanning photos from the 1980s and posting them.


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July 2016



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