All about my underpants

[flea]

At some point during my high school years, I switched to wearing exclusively black cotton underpants - specifically, my One True Underpant, black cotton Jockey for Her string bikinis. These ceased to be made some time in the mid 1990s, but I found some replacements, and my current underpants collection includes Jockey "elance" string bikinis, jockey hipsters, and j. crew bikinis, all black, all 100% cotton. (I do have a few other pairs of underpants for specialized needs - pale garments, teh sex, etc.)

Now, I have another rule about my underpants - I will not wear holey underpants. I am a grownup, and while I am cheap, I am not that cheap. Lately I have had multiple pairs of underpants self-destruct into holes within a short period of time, so I am in need of an underpants re-stock. So whenever I am in a store, I check their underpants to see if they carry any black all-cotton underpants that could be suitable.

Reader, they do not. What with the advent of microfiber, the thong, and the boy-short, I am lucky to find any cotton underpants at all, and they are never black. I have checked basic online clothing purveyors (j. crew, lands' end) too, and no dice.

From the wonderful site www.barenecessities.com, I have discovered that I can order black jockey underpants (bikinis or hipsters) for $6.50 a pair (highway robbery, but I digress). But they are not all black - the waist elastic is white. This annoys me considerably.

Reader, dear reader, do you know where I can find the underpants of my dreams?

In other private parts news, I think my left nipple is broken. Ow.

Comments

[stephl.livejournal.com]

Victoria's Secret has cotton underpants, and surely they have black. I am loyal to their cotton briefs, and have them in almost every color EXCEPT black. And white.

I'm linking to the cotton string bikini, but they have other bikini-style panties as well, and it seems they all come in black: as seen here.

(I do have a few other pairs of underpants for specialized needs - pale garments, teh sex, etc.)

Teh sex is easier without underpants, I've found.

Me = smartass.

[veejane.livejournal.com]

I have found Jockey 3-packs of black/dark gray/light gray -- that won't do??

I advise staying away from Victoria's Secret udnerpants, because they seem inclined to chafe the secret places, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I have owned some of their low-rise underpants, and they did not stay where I wanted them to stay. Also, kind of pricey.

I suspect it is possible to find black cotton, sold individually instead of in 3-packs, at your average Hecht's. The trouble is finding black cotton in a style that is not Instant Grandmother or Instant Hobag.

[stephl.livejournal.com]

They don't chafe my secret places -- perhaps the NuttyFlea physiology is straight out of the X-Files ("The Women Whose Underwear Chafed!")....

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

No, the mixed three-pack will not do! So wasteful!

It is NOT possible to find black cotton at Hechts. It is possible to find white cotton, or pastel cotton.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Huh. I have never tried Vicky's Secret underpants, and I now realize this is because of an unreasonable prejeudice - I have a sense that Vicky's Secret models probably have a lot of yeast infections. Just because they look like the sort of women who wear too-tight pants and no natural fibers. This prejeudice doesn't prevent me from (at times) buying Vicky's Secret bras - the expense and their lack of styles that suit me do that, mostly. Maybe I should try them.

Teh sex can be, um, provoked, by the right pair of underpants. That later come off for teh ACTUAL sex.