All about my underpants

[flea]

At some point during my high school years, I switched to wearing exclusively black cotton underpants - specifically, my One True Underpant, black cotton Jockey for Her string bikinis. These ceased to be made some time in the mid 1990s, but I found some replacements, and my current underpants collection includes Jockey "elance" string bikinis, jockey hipsters, and j. crew bikinis, all black, all 100% cotton. (I do have a few other pairs of underpants for specialized needs - pale garments, teh sex, etc.)

Now, I have another rule about my underpants - I will not wear holey underpants. I am a grownup, and while I am cheap, I am not that cheap. Lately I have had multiple pairs of underpants self-destruct into holes within a short period of time, so I am in need of an underpants re-stock. So whenever I am in a store, I check their underpants to see if they carry any black all-cotton underpants that could be suitable.

Reader, they do not. What with the advent of microfiber, the thong, and the boy-short, I am lucky to find any cotton underpants at all, and they are never black. I have checked basic online clothing purveyors (j. crew, lands' end) too, and no dice.

From the wonderful site www.barenecessities.com, I have discovered that I can order black jockey underpants (bikinis or hipsters) for $6.50 a pair (highway robbery, but I digress). But they are not all black - the waist elastic is white. This annoys me considerably.

Reader, dear reader, do you know where I can find the underpants of my dreams?

In other private parts news, I think my left nipple is broken. Ow.

Comments

[stephl.livejournal.com]

Victoria's Secret has cotton underpants, and surely they have black. I am loyal to their cotton briefs, and have them in almost every color EXCEPT black. And white.

I'm linking to the cotton string bikini, but they have other bikini-style panties as well, and it seems they all come in black: as seen here.

(I do have a few other pairs of underpants for specialized needs - pale garments, teh sex, etc.)

Teh sex is easier without underpants, I've found.

Me = smartass.

[veejane.livejournal.com]

I have found Jockey 3-packs of black/dark gray/light gray -- that won't do??

I advise staying away from Victoria's Secret udnerpants, because they seem inclined to chafe the secret places, if you know what I mean. Anyway, I have owned some of their low-rise underpants, and they did not stay where I wanted them to stay. Also, kind of pricey.

I suspect it is possible to find black cotton, sold individually instead of in 3-packs, at your average Hecht's. The trouble is finding black cotton in a style that is not Instant Grandmother or Instant Hobag.

[stephl.livejournal.com]

They don't chafe my secret places -- perhaps the NuttyFlea physiology is straight out of the X-Files ("The Women Whose Underwear Chafed!")....

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

No, the mixed three-pack will not do! So wasteful!

It is NOT possible to find black cotton at Hechts. It is possible to find white cotton, or pastel cotton.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Huh. I have never tried Vicky's Secret underpants, and I now realize this is because of an unreasonable prejeudice - I have a sense that Vicky's Secret models probably have a lot of yeast infections. Just because they look like the sort of women who wear too-tight pants and no natural fibers. This prejeudice doesn't prevent me from (at times) buying Vicky's Secret bras - the expense and their lack of styles that suit me do that, mostly. Maybe I should try them.

Teh sex can be, um, provoked, by the right pair of underpants. That later come off for teh ACTUAL sex.

[orthoepy.livejournal.com]

Check Target -- they have black bikinis that are all-black. But you might have to buy them in a three-pack w/white and gray. Still, I think they're $5 a threepack, so you might come out ahead!

Have you tried the Hanes outlet site? Froogle?

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

I have tried the Hanes outlet and it gives me no black love - just pastels and hot pink.

Will observe Target next time I am there. I didn't reralize they carried cotton. But again, oh the wasteful 3-pack!

[dxmachina.livejournal.com]

Okay there's really no reason for me to respond here, but I continue to be fascinated by the family fleakin's obsession with underpants. I'd have just gotten some Rit and dyed the waistbands black, but I see there are other alternatives.

In other private parts news, I think my left nipple is broken.

I have this image of a really, really cold day, and things snapping off, and ewwww...

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Not broken OFF. Not.

[theodosia.livejournal.com]

Nipples =break=? ::cringes::

I'm a Jockey For Her bikinis girl, and haven't been able to find them many places, so I'll try Tarzhay and Vickie's next.

[jesseh.livejournal.com]

I have a lot of cotton bikinis from the Gap, and they come one at a time. But I'm not sure about all black. I think all the Old Navy undies are in multi-color three-packs, so those are Out.

[fatoudust.livejournal.com]

Oh, my sister, I am so with you. I am fond of the all-cotton, all-black dip-front bikini variety, but unfortunately these, too, have gone by the wayside of panties of the recent, but oh-so-yesterday, past. It is sad. Right now I am wearing a flourescent green version of same, and even it has a white waistband. It is also sad, but in a completely different way. Let me know if you succeed in your quest, for lo, I am right behind you.

[mearagrrl.livejournal.com]

Huh. Yeha, I would've said Vicki's cotton underwear (which definitely comes in black) or the three packs, or to consider boyshorts or women's boxerbriefs.