I have no idea what to title this

[flea]

So, I got out a tape measure and measured myself (bust, waist, hips) recently. The reason, which is ridiculous and probably mock-worthy, was that I was watching the YouTube Video of "Baby Got Back" a la "Pirates of Penzance," and there's the line "36-24-36? Well, maybe if she's 5 foot 3." So I was wondering.

So, I am 5 foot 11 and 39-31-38. The 39 is currently a 36C (remember, I'm nursing.) THIS is why shopping is such enormous pain in the ass. Now that they have long lengths in women's pants, I am okay on the height front most of the time. But, for example, at Lands' End, my waist makes me a 10 (medium), and my hips make me a 6 (small). According to them, my bust makes me a 12, but I can tell you from experience that a Lands' End 12 top would SWIM on me. I usually buy small tops from them, or an 8 (their small is 6-8); I haven't ventured their pants. At J. Jill? Bust would make me a 14, waist a 12, hips an 8. Again, I usually buy a size small (6-8) in tops from them, and an 8 in pants is generous. These manufacturers are not following their OWN size guidelines! And I'm not talking about tailored clothes here; this is simple t-shirts and elastic waist pants.

So, another thing to note is that my waist-hip ratio is .817, which is generally an indicator of risk of heart disease and diabetes and lower fertility and various things of this sort (although according to the charts I found I am at the low end of "moderate risk.") So far I have proven to be plenty fertile and nobody in my close family has diabetes or heart disease. However, this does mean that men don't find me that attractive, as I am not curvy enough (.7 is considered ideal in tests). I already knew that.

So, to sum up: Baby Got No Back. Little Humps. Minimal Lovely Lady Lumps. Anti-Badonkadonk.

Comments

[mearagrrl.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you need to shop at more ridiculous places, like JCrew or Abercrombie, where they expect people to have no hips?

But I agree that when they don't follow their OWN size guides, it annoys.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Hmmm. At J. Crew, I'd be a 12 bust (L), 12 waist (L) and 8 hip (M). I haven't bought anything there is at least 8 years, so I can't judge how their stuff actually fits me. (Too expensive/too young for me).

Abercrombie: bust XL (ha!), 12 waist (XL), 8 hip (M). I've never even been into one of their stores. The music is so loud I just stand outside and shake my cane at them.

Banana Republic: 12 bust (L), 12 waist (L), 8 hip (M). I should note that the last time I tried on a skirt at BR (admittedly 3 years ago, but I exactly my current size - I wore the skirt I bought the same day yesterday), a 6 was too big.

Gap: 12 bust (L), 12 waist (L), 8 hip (M). I haven't tried on anything here is a long time, so I can't say.

I guess they are consistent as far as my measurements go, but actual size I wear? No.

[mearagrrl.livejournal.com]

Having worn some stuff from Jcrew and banana lately, where I've got about your waist measurement, but definitely bigger hips--well, the 10 fit my waist fine, but the hips were definitely tight. So...yeah, see above how the land's end 12 claims to fit you but is too big? They lie about their size charts.

If there are any outlets near you, the JCrew outlet can sometimes be fairly decent prices. Banana is more hit and miss.

[ste-noni.livejournal.com]

Is that what humps means? That song has not been big here so I've never heard it although I've seen it referred to online.

I am so out of touch.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZw-8RSyvh8 (This is the Alanis parody.)

[veejane.livejournal.com]

My ratio is .791. I think the thing about heart disease risk is the fact that fat stores above the waist are a risk-factor for heart disease, so among people who are fat a high waist/hip ratio indicates fat in the "wrong" places. Among people who aren't especially fat, it's an indicator of being funnylooking, is all.

Did I tell you I now wear an extra small at LL Bean? The smalls are too big for me. Now, I am a 34D and wear extra small. What does Sarah Michelle Gellar wear (if indeed she were to shop at LL Bean)? She is a lot closer to my definition of extra small than I am!

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Yes, I am very amused that as a 5 foot 10 woman who wears a size 10 shoe and a 36C bra, I wear a small a lot of the time. I am not a small person. (I am a thin person, but not a small one!)

No junk in your trunk?

[forodwaith.livejournal.com]

Now you've got me curious about my waist-hip ratio. Will have to pull out the tape measure and check it tonight.

It's measured at natural waist, right? The saggy baby-belly would certainly skew the results.

Re: No junk in your trunk?

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Yes, natural waist. In me that's actually a little above the belly button (the smallest part, anyway.)

Re: No junk in your trunk?

[lala-lisa.livejournal.com]

I'm curious about my ratio now too! I wonder if I'll be able to figure out the math. am super mathtarded.

I took my measurements last summer so I could order a bathing suit from Land's End. I would NEVER have picked the sizes for myself that their phone support lady told me were the right sizes based on my measurements. But the suits I got fit me perfectly. I hope they still do for this summer. The bottoms may be too big now...I don't want droopy draws at teh pool!

Re: No junk in your trunk?

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

There are online math thingys that do it for you! See http://www.healthcalculators.org/calculators/waist_hip.asp

Re: No junk in your trunk?

[lala-lisa.livejournal.com]

hooray for the internet!! thanks!