my teenaged 3 year old...

[flea]

Yesterday Casper and I got in a fight. We were trying to get ready for all 4 of us to go on a walk, to burn off some energy (Casper) and return our videos (me). Casper was not cooperating, being very rude and sassy, and I got fed up and told her she couldn't come, that I would take Dillo and go on the walk and she could stay home with Daddy. She was very upset, of course.

This morning mr. flea told me that after we left she cried for a while and he was having a talk with her about rudeness once she calmed down and she said, "My mom doesn't understand me."

I swear to god, I hardly believe him, but how could he make that shit up?

I wish I had more energy to deal with Casper. I do things that I know are not good parenting - like getting mad and yelling, like being inconsistent out of laziness - mostly because I am so tired. But I think that even if I was getting all the sleep in the world this child could still out-energy me. As it is, she can freakin' out-smart me already.

Sunday's New York Times magazine has an interesting article about school performance for underpriviledged children, and mentions a study that suggested that children in middle-class homes are better prepared for successful lives in our society because their parents talk to them a lot, debate and bargain and so forth, whereas children in low income homes are much more likely to be raised strictly, punished, etc. This means that the low income children are often better behaved as kids, but grow up with fewer verbal skills and less assertiveness and problem-solving skills. (I am probably oversimplifying and of course didn't read the actual study, only the summary of it.)

My kid is going to be able to solve every freakin' problem ever invented at this rate.

Comments

[loligo.livejournal.com]

I was lying in bed with Chuckles last night, mentally writing a post about how it's like having a teenager around the house. I kid you not. My favorite bit of teen drama recently: I tell her that she's already watched her TV quota for the day (one DVD, one TV show), and she flings herself on the couch, buries her head in her arms and starts weeping bitterly. "I don't know why you don't EVER let me watch TV that I like!" she wails.

Are they going to get this out of their systems by the time they're 16, or is it just going to get worse?

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

I dunno. I was a decent 3 year old and a TERRIBLE 14 year old, so I am trying to be hopeful.

It is much funnier when it's your melodramatic kid, and not mine! It's nice to know someone else is with me.

[forodwaith.livejournal.com]

It's the eyerolls and huffing that get me, because I used to be the teenaged queen of those.

I think every parent is inconsistent (maybe robot nannies aren't, but...)

[jonquil.livejournal.com]

"I wish I had more energy to deal with Casper. I do things that I know are not good parenting - like getting mad and yelling, like being inconsistent out of laziness - mostly because I am so tired."

Casper needs to learn that parents, too, have limits.

Mommy is a finite resource. Mommy is not a tap.

[haphazardmethod.livejournal.com]

Sys and I fought off and on all weekend. As far as I can tell, for her this is about fighting for the sake of fighting (about food, clothes, dirty diapers and the changing thereof, pajamas, naps -- you name it, we fought over it). In every case I am assured at top volume that "this is all your fault." I didn't lose it this weekend but last weekend, yeah.