working parent rant-ette

There's a tendency for discussions about working vs. stay at home parents to divvy up the time spent on various activities. (For example, here: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/08/parents-who-dont-waste-enough-time/). Then someone asks, "What do stay at home parents DO all day? (Since studies show that SAHP only spend an hour a day playing with their kids.)" And someone replies, "Laundry, dishes, errands, take the kids to the doctor, clean the house, take the kids to soccer practice..."

Here are the things nobody ever says in response to those:

Working parents do dishes and laundry and take the kids to the doctor and all that shit, too! They just cram it into their evenings and weekends, and take mornings off for the doctor part. Um, duh? Yeah, some people outsource housecleaning, and some go out to eat a lot, but most working families (like, say, mine) don't choose to or don't really make enough money to do either of those things, and precious few people outsource the daily breakfast dishes or taking the kid to the doctor. Yes, the house stays cleaner when there aren't people in it for 8-10 hours a day. But the laundry still needs to be done.

The real thing SAHPs do is TAKE CARE OF KIDS. This isn't "playing" in studies, but it is very time-consuming, as any parent knows. Non-play stuff I don't do while my kid is at daycare: make and feed and clean up from morning snack, lunch, and afternoon snack; change diapers/watch potty-trainer like a hawk and plop him on the potty every hour and read a book for 15 minutes while we try to pee; wrangle kid down for a nap (with 2 year olds, this can be an hour-long process if you even get a nap at all, as they want to drop the nap but still *need* it); do activities to keep the kid from running amok and then clean up from those activities. I don't do much housework or errands on days I'm home with kids, except when the TV is on. (And yes, ONE kid can help with housework; I have not figured out how to let two help at the same time without it all dissolving into chaos.)

tough week

This week has been kicking my ass - between re-entry after vacation, my summer class starting, Casper having a swimming lesson after camp each day, which has meant dinner at 7:30 and late bedtime, and then the fleas, so most waking moments at home involve washing or vacuuming something - well, I'm ready for the weekend.

And tomorrow is Dillo's birthday and party and I'm not really ready (what the hell am I going to do about a cake?), and then Sunday mr. flea needs to work to make up the time he took flea-bombing the house on Wednesday. And the fleas are not all the way gone, which means we need to keep working at it.

But Casper LOVES the swimming lessons and is really making progress and is so proud of herself. She's an excellent elementary backstroker now, and can tread water and dog paddle (they don't really practice the "rocket" she learned at the beach at the Y). Two weeks ago she couldn't float on her back and wouldn't put her face in the water. I hope we can go to the pool on Sunday so she can get some more practice and show off for me.

I am very excited to meet Dillo's friend Colin at the party. Dillo LOVES Colin. Talks about him every day. Aside from the slow potty progress, he's doing great. I love our morning snuggle times - he wakes up all soft and sleepy and wanting to snuggle. Needs a haircut, and I need to do something about a 3 year checkup for him (although he's not due any shots, it makes sense to take him in - he hasn't been to the doctor since his initial appointment last summer, since he's been healthy.)