flea

I went to the very nice oral surgeon for a consult and came away with plans to have my wisdom teeth (all 4) out next Tuesday. Um. (So, Hec, perhaps lunch downtown is not so much an option.) They have prescribed me valium for night before and morning of; I am not sure whether or not this is customary, or they could tell from my wild-eyed look that I was sure as hell going to need it.

(Shall I note, in passing, that former bad dentist proposed to take my wisdom teeth out under local anaesthetic in his office? Apparently by brute force. One shudders to think. I mean, my wisdom teeth are erupted and look decent, but the oral surgeon says you never know for sure until you're in there, and often even erupted teeth have root complications and so forth that require actual incisions.)

My ongoing complete mental breakdown about my teeth is, well, ongoing. I'm still keeping it together, mostly (although I did agree to an appointment without remembering the lunch date and afternoon meetings I had penciled in), but after the appointment I couldn't face going back to work (also it was 90 degrees and a half-hour walk) and so purchased root beer, potato chips, and Cherry Garcia and devoured them, then napped heavily. I'm having a hard time with the fact that I'm having such a hard time with all this; I am now happy with my new dentist, and the oral surgeon seemed very good too, and I'm using fucking Listerine daily to counteract the beginning signs of gingivitis - I should be starting to feel better about it all, damn it. And yet this afternoon I was seriously worried that the teeth were only the first step, and in a few years I was going to end up unable to leave the house and subsisting on organic free-range bananas or some other elaborate form of Not Coping With Life. (Let us conveniently ignore my pre-existing major non-copage, the lack of driving thing.)

My self-image is all about the competence and matter-of-factness and coping. When I have to work this freaking hard to barely cope, I start freaking out.

I just made an appointment to see the dentist. We took Casper in the spring, but I haven't been myself in perhaps 3 years. They had a cancellation, so I'm going TOMORROW. Eek. Also, one cleaning for Casper was $150, so I expect the damage to be big.

I have a weird relationship with dentistry. I'm not phobic (that would be veejane of the valium) but I certainly don't like going. Since my mother's husband was a dentist, I have gotten most of my dentistry free via his office since I was about 16. He's retired now, though, and he also lives in Boston so I never got to the dentist twice a year even when I did see a dentist.

In general, I have fairly good teeth. I think some of it is genetic luck and some of it is fluoride treatments in my youth, because precious little of it is due to my own conduct. I don't brush as often as I should, and I almost never floss, and as noted, visit the dentist all too rarely. I think I've had 3 cavities total in my life, but I have been having some occasional tooth pain and fully expect them to find either a new cavity or a problem with a filling.

Part of my dentistry avoidance is that I genuinely dislike dental cleanings - the scritch-scritch of the scrapers, the suction tube under my tongue, the hideous taste and grittiness of the toothpaste, the shuddery feeling I get when they use that rotating toothbrush. I actually even dislike the feeling of brushing my teeth, which is one reason I don't do it twice daily. mr. flea uses one of those electric toothbrushes; it makes me shuddery to even think about it.

Part of my dentistry avoidance of late is that I don't have dental insurance, and it's expensive. I filled out the annual renewal of my work benefits today and again decided not to plump for dental coverage since it's $75 a month (for the family - health insurance is only $212!) and has a complicated co-pay structure, plus there's a 6-month moratorium on anything but cleaning when you sign up. And by June 2008 I'd really like to be in another situation. There's a rant in here, but I'm tired, so I'll just give you the simmer version, about how vision care and dental care are part of the big picture of medical care, duh, so why have separate insurances? For example, there are medical conditions that are complicated by dental problems, and some dental problems are indicators of underlying medical problems. And since preventive care in dentistry is a HUGE deal, why not encourage your employees to get cleanings by making them covered at a reasonable co-pay? Just another insane facet of the health care system in America.