flea

The kids started school last Wednesday, at the newly-reopened public school that's a 10-minute walk from our house. Casper is in 4th grade at the gifted academy, and Dillo is in first grade as a regular civilian. So far, so good.

Dillo's class is actually mixed K-1; I think probably 1/3 to 1/2 of the kids are in 1 and the rest are K; they tested the incoming K kids and the ones who were more advanced were placed in this room. This could be good or bad (or both); Dillo has always been on the young end for his grade, and because of his shyness is undersocialized. Now he's one of the older kids, and could develop some maturity as a mentor to other kids, or have more social peers since they are younger. On the potential negative, academically he was already at the top end, so I worry that he won't be challenged enough if the teacher is also pitching to K students. I am not yet very impressed with his teacher; she seems nice, but I don't have much of an impression of her. She's only been teaching 3 years, after a career in HR, and is probably older than me.

At Casper's grade level, they have a homeroom and then rotate for the subjects: math, social studies, language arts, and science. Casper's homeroom is the math teacher, who is also older than me and just returning to the classroom after a few years as a master teacher/coach for developing teachers. I like her energy and air of cheery competence. Casper was very excited to find a couple of girls she knows from Girl Scouts in her class. We've just started getting homework in earnest, and there's something in each subject each night. It's assignments that would be manageable for someone who could settle down and focus on homework; as it is it's kind of a lot. Tuesdays, when Casper has dance class from 4-5:30 and soccer from 6:30-7:30, will be a problem. (We'll ditch soccer that night if we have to; we also don't have to leave for school until 8:45, which leaves some time to finish things in the morning.)

The content does seem more interesting and hands-on than last year. Tonight she's factoring numbers to 50 (only needs to do two factors per); writing definitions and providing examples of 4 terms in language (simile, metaphor, etc.); answering two questions about her favorite things to study in science; and doing a "quiz" of new vocabulary related to maps in social studies.

Today at pick-up time the science teacher - who is young and has a reputation as being very strict with the kids - came up to me and asked me if Casper had ever been diagnosed as dyslexic; apparently she noticed that Casper sometimes still reverses letters. I said no, that she's struggled with reading a lot but always came out as "at grade level" so was never formally evaluated, although I have my suspicions that she has some reading disability. She said they can certainly deal with kids who are both gifted and learning disabled, and I said I'd welcome starting a conversation about that. mr. flea is a little trepidatious - I think he fears labeling her - but I am mostly relieved and impressed that the teacher noticed an issue like this the first week of school, and brought it up with us. That never occurred in the 8 months Casper spent at her "excellent" elementary school last year; nor did it at the special reading camp for kids who struggle with reading at a local college's Education department this summer (where she was assessed as "reading at grade level" and so they focused on content. She GETS content; it's stuff like sounding out words and spelling she can't do.)

Interestingly, one thing I read today about dyslexic kids is they may have trouble memorizing math facts, which would certainly explain why despite drilling with flash cards all summer Casper has no more ability to recite her times tables than a kitten. (She can multiply; she just has to work it out every single time).

1. Casper lately has a tendency to wind up in freakouts sometimes over fairly routine issues (i.e. when reprimanded for stealing life savers from the cabinet and stashing them under her bed). The freakouts consist of saying, "I know, I know, I'm the stupidest!" and placing herself in time out in her room. Sometimes there is also screaming. The reaction can go on for a long time; this weekend nearly two hours after the initial issue she was still incredibly touchy and just barely able to cooperate in us going out together.

Needless to say we have NEVER told her she is stupid; we do say things like, "that was a bad choice," "you're not listening," "it's not right to steal candy," etc. - we try to criticize an action, and not a person.

Ideas what this might be about? Often her reaction is strongest when we catch her doing things she knows are not allowed, and is probably feeling a little guilty about. We have a neighbor who is a school pyschologist and has 5 and 3 year olds and knows Casper. Do you think it's worth asking her for some input? mr. flea is worried we are too hard on her, while I worry we aren't hard enough - it's so hard to step outside and see objectively.

2. School is out for the summer a week from tomorrow! A neighborhood woman, a retired English professor, does some volunteer tutoring at Casper's school. Casper likes her a lot - she is the grandmother of Casper's old day care playmates from Durham - although we haven't seen as much of her this year as I'd meant to. She taught the twins (her granddaughters) to read the summer they turned 5. Casper has not yet had the reading switch come on as people say it does, and remains extremely reluctant to cooperate with any reading practice at home (we have not been pushing, just reading to her). Would it be appropriate to suggest to our neighbor that she and Casper meet once a week for a "reading playdate"? We could offer to pay her or offer to trade yard work, dog-sitting, or other minor domestic help. Am I being a ridiculously pushy yuppie mother to want Casper to continue reading practice over the 10-week break from school? My hope is that this would be a pleasurable thing for her, since she likes the neighbor and actively asks for playdates with her.

Today with Dillo and Casper.

I could post every day about how darling Dillo is. It's just an intensely cute age, and he is a sweet sweet kid (except when he doesn't want to go to bed and says "mommy? mommy? mommy? for an hour in a row.) I spent a lot of time one on one with him today, as mr. flea went in to work at 7:30 and Casper slept in until nearly 10, then was off to lunch at a friend's house by 11:30. We played with the Little People and those balloons that you blow up and let go and they squeak and fly around the room deflating, and watched some Clifford together all wrapped up in a blanket sitting on our sheepskins on the couch. We broke out the 3T clothes because he is so picky about clothes right now and wants only certain pants; this gives us more options even if things are a little big still. Given his druthers he'd wear the Thomas pajamas Cashmere sent all the time. I cut his hair on Friday night and it actually came out okay; he looks more round-faced with short hair.

Casper was all full of mysterious 5 year old stuff today, wearing her new 'fancy pants' (embroidered jeans from Target) and spending most of the day with friends, with A. at lunch and then off to a playdate at E.'s house that lasted 4 hours. When I met mr. flea and the kids for dinner I asked Casper what she and E. did and she said, "nothing." Mysterious girl! They picked out some good-looking early readers at the library yesterday; we have been doing some sounding out and identifying the "popcorn words" in our Mo Willems Elephant and Piggie books, which are great first readers. (Popcorn words are common ones that they are learning to recognize on sight and not have to sound out - a and I and is and he and and and so forth. In class they "butter them" with yellow crayon.)

ION is there any reason NOT to buy new Garnet Hill flannel sheets, a set of flat queen, 2 cases and 2 shams, on ebay when they are selling for $6.50? To buy an approximately matching fitted sheet is $56 from Garnet Hill. And I am in the market for queen flannel sheets. Ebay does mystify me...