wondering

[flea]

I have a dear friend, single in her early 30s, who lives in a rural area populated largely by families and those over 50. After years of dating through social connections, and feeling as though she had exhausted this avenue in her area, she turned to the internet. She's had ups and downs with various services, and has now been recommended a service that accepts only graduates of certain colleges. She qualifies. It seems like a decent way to meet well-educated people who are interested in intellectual topics and ideas; on the other hand, it's certainly sort of exclusive.

Were you in such a situation, would you try this service? Why or why not?

Comments

[cindywrites.livejournal.com]

I don't know. The internet frightens me, and the idea of dating services, even before there was an internet, also frighten me. That said, I wasn't even 24 when I met the dh. I might have felt differently in my early 30s.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Hee. "The internet frightens me." Hee.

[jesseh.livejournal.com]

Probably not, if only because people who self-select in that way (signing up for that kind of service) seem like they would not be the kind of person I would really click with. But then, I'm not all that interested in intellectual topics and ideas, even though I did go to a Fancy College.

If I were spending money, I'd be far more likely to do something like eHarmony. I would say that being smart is important to me, but actual degrees and where they are from, much less so.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

That's interesting, because she's done eHarmony and not found much of interest in the profiles, but just looking at the free brief "sample" bios at this site, some of the people seem interesting to her (and me, I looked too, though I haven't looked at eHarmony). (Could I use "interesting" more times in one sentence?) Some of them, of course, can be ruled out as horrible snobs and/or weirdoes immediately ("I could never date someone who went to Yale.") But then, plenty of non-liberal arts colleges folks are snobs or weirdoes too.

She says she just wants someone who thinks it's charming, not weird, that she sometimes looks things up in the dictionary in the middle of dinner. Maybe we need a b.org dating service...

[jesseh.livejournal.com]

She says she just wants someone who thinks it's charming, not weird, that she sometimes looks things up in the dictionary in the middle of dinner.

Oh, I totally want that. I just don't think someone who went to Cornell or whatever is more (or less) likely to think that.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Dude, have you looked at eHarmony? I just did, and I'm finding it kinda weird, with their 29 personality dimensions and Dr. Warren. I would definitely pick this fancy colleges site over them; at least it's not pseudo-psychoanalytical!

[jesseh.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's kind of crazy. I know people who have used them with varying levels of success (from zero to excellent). I like the idea of them matching you up with people who have the same core values or whatever. But really, I have nothing against nerve or any other "regular" internet personals/dating site, but they just seem like the same people you could meet anywhere, just with slightly more information before you have to invest any time.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you live in NYC, surrounded by people. There really *aren't* any single men in her town/county, at least that don't live with their mothers...

[cindywrites.livejournal.com]

She says she just wants someone who thinks it's charming, not weird, that she sometimes looks things up in the dictionary in the middle of dinner. Maybe we need a b.org dating service...

Heee. I lucked out then, given my boy put himself through community college, and state school, because he loves my geeky side.

[makaidiver.livejournal.com]

> She says she just wants someone who thinks it's charming, not weird, that she sometimes looks things up in the dictionary in the middle of dinner.

There are people who don't think that's normal? Huh.