forever house

[flea]

Casper had a hard day for no reason at school yesterday, and came home with a drawing of our "forever house." We've been talking about this since before we moved; some of it is silly, and some of it is real. Casper wants a fireplace, a big porch, a tree that's right for a treehouse, and a creek in the back yard. Also, a weeping willow. (She wanted a weeping willow for the treehouse, but I explained they were not well suited for such.) She also at various points has wanted dolphins and a Giant Pacific Octopus to live in the creek (while realizing this is environmentally implausible).

Today Dillo said he liked our old house better than this house because it had good places to play outside. Yesterday at after school he drew our current house, quite nicely and accurately, with the driveway and our car and his room and the big field in back that we sometimes let the kids play in.

I'm having a hard day today myself; it's dark, and our schedule has me in the car 80 minutes a day, and we don't meet anyone at the kids' school due to it so we don't know anyone except our (very nice) neighbors, and my job is high-stress and poorly paying, and we won't have much of a Christmas (we're not poor; it's lack of effort and inspiration) and it feels like obligation rather than joy to see family and exchange gifts. I am mourning our move today. I liked our OLD forever house.

Comments

[kate_nepveu]

Ugh, sympathies.

[fatoudust]

I remember when my dad lost his job (northern Ohio, steel town, end of boom days) and was searching, he put on his suit and left every day just like normal for the work of jobsearching. When he finally did find a job that moved us (not even all that far, south-central Ohio) we grieved instead of celebrating with him. I remember one point a few months after the move breaking down on the way to ballet lessons. It just wasn't the same. The girls were different. I was at a different point in my skills. We were in a perfectly nice rental house. But I missed our big rambling ranch with the pond and barn and 20 acres of woods. I missed the perfect childhood house and the innocence that came with it. I missed my friends. My mom and I used to stop on the way home from school and get ice cream, and just be generally miserable about having moved.

But I did eventually settle in, and so did my mom, and she and I both made new friends, and we got used to the new house's idiosyncrasies. I took guitar lessons instead of dance. It wasn't ever the same. But it eventually didn't need to be.

All that may not be helpful to you, but I just wanted to say, I empathize, and it will in all likelihood get easier.

Also, I have a couple I could introduce you to in Cincy. I have no idea what neighborhood they're in. And they are churchy, which may be an impediment to you. (Although, I suppose in some ways they're no more different from you than my crazy anarchist commune buddies in Athens, heh.) And they are, I dunno, kinda odd people. At one point their daughter was a terror, but is much older and more settled now. But they have been friends of ours for over a decade, and they are truly nice people. They relocated from New Jersey many years ago. I dunno if you are ready for random new people. But if you're interested, I'd be happy to make the introduction.

[mme_hardy]

This is an awful time of year to have to cope with moves and move-sadness and WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYTHING on top of the Christmas stress. Hugs to you and the kids.