right field, again

[flea]

Soccer last night was Casper taking her shoes off and showing her blue toenails to her coach, playing "take shots on goal" for about 5 minutes, declining the next practice-game and twining herself in the goal net for 5 minutes, then wandering about behind the bleachers and ultimately trying to play with the two 8-year-old big sisters for the rest of the hour. We asked her occasionally if she wanted to play but didn't push too hard. I am discouraged, though, and wonder if we should even keep showing up, if things are going to be this way. All the other kids were there and played the whole time; there was one girl who got upset towards the end and took breaks to cry in her mother's lap, but Casper was by far the least engaged. I also found out a lot of the kids are younger than I thought; Grady is just three, Ny is three, Amir is four (he looks the oldest of the lot).

This brings up all sorts of social anxiety in me, of course. Maybe Casper's just not a joiner. I am certainly not a joiner, but I wish I were a joiner, and I wanted her to do soccer so she would have a "normal kid" activity. I think right now we should make her keep going to the practices and the games, because of the obligation she has to her team, but not force her to play or participate, and not sign her up again unless she asks.

Names: The "Caitlin" is actually "Kaetyln" (sigh), and Ny is short for Tah-NY-ah (not sure how spelled). Siblings: Amir's sister is Naima (and a very very pretty 8 month old she is); Jimmy's older sister is Ingrid and younger brother is Gus; Santana's younger brother is Jordan.

Comments

[dxmachina.livejournal.com]

I think that keep bringing her, but don't press her to play may be the best tack. I was in kindergarten, at least and maybe a year or two even later than that, before I demonstrated any interest in sports. Then one day I got the bug somehow, and laid out a baseball diamond in our driveway for my own personal Calvinball field. I asked my mom how many bases there should be, and she said four, which I took to mean in addition to home plate. Fortunately, that got straightened out pretty quickly. It took longer for me to find out that empire and umpire were spelled differently.

Of course, there was no t-ball back then, and I didn't start playing little league until I was 9.

[serrana.livejournal.com]

One of the things they stress a lot with us in Suzuki is that at this age, the kids may or may not participate in stuff, but it doesn't mean they're not getting something out of it. It's pretty common for kids to sit and watch during group class, or wander around the back of the room, or look like they're ignoring everyone...and then pick up their fiddles and do it all perfectly. It's infuriating, but it's totally normal.

(We're currently having the opposite of your problem: she does well in group class, I suppose because of the public shaming factor, and is impossible and rude with her private teacher. *sigh*)

[forodwaith.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'd say don't force participation, just attendance.

Nora (of course) did exactly the same thing last summer, and I foresee more of it when soccer gets started up here.

I also think kids take a lot longer to grok team sports than we realize. Sean didn't hit his stride as a soccer or hockey player until turning seven.

[mearagrrl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, looking back I totally wish my parents would've made me keep playing soccer (I quit after a couple years, at like, seven, my siblings played for several more years). Sounds like she wasn't hating it, even if she wasn't playing.

[septembergrrl.livejournal.com]

Kaetyln? That's just painful.

The Caitlyn in my mom's group is at least spelled that way, which is semi-creative but not bad. (Other babies: Anderson, Weston, Kian, Sadie, Charlotte, Caroline, Chloe, Isabel, Olivia, Madison, and Ivy. Pretty yuppy batch, no?)