dear Dove chocolate

[flea]

While I appreciate your little dark chocolate squares, and I think a couple of them just stopped a serious coughing fit, do you *really* need to include platitudes on the wrappers? And not just platitudes, offensively female-stereotyping childish and infantilizing platitudes?

Samples:
Age is nothing but a number.
When two hearts race, both win.
Make "someday" today.
Don't think about it so much.
It's definitely a bubble-bath day.
Sing along with the elevator music.

Can you all suggest what you'd rather see written in the Dove wrappers? Maybe something like: "This day is sucking. Thank god for this little chocolate square that helping to keep me from killing someone."

Comments

[sophiap.livejournal.com]

"It's either this or booze: your choice."

[lala-lisa.livejournal.com]

wait! The dark chocolate helped the coughing??? I'm going to have to try that. Because nothing is stopping the coughing now.

[smonsterbite.livejournal.com]

Sweet, blessed, chocolately goodness. Never leave me.

Calories, smalories. You deserve this.

[smonsterbite.livejournal.com]

Chocolate; cheaper than therapy.

[calligrafiti.livejournal.com]

Let's see . . .

Better to unwrap the Dove square than the curse the P90 that jammed just when your target drove into view.

Dove squares. For when the whiskey's just too far away.

The test came back negative--time for chocolate! (Or, alternatively: The test came back positive--might as well gorge on chocolate.)

So many Dove squares, so few chances to taunt the dieters with them. Oh, wait, there are dozens of chances--yay!

Dove squares--because crack's still illegal.