perceptions, internal and external

[flea]

Somewhere else there was some talk of types one is attracted to, which segued into how others see one, or what type one is oneself ("broad," "wacky creative girl," etc.)

I used to be really surprised by the things people said about me, and how they perceived me. I dodn't feel that I was the person they were talking about at all. After maybe 15 years of this, I am starting to be aware of how others perceive me - or at least expect what their reaction will be. I'm still not able to use it to my advantage except very occasionally, which would be what someone with actual Emotional Intelligence would do. (Me, I got Intelligence Intelligence, but not so much with the Emotional.)

Here are some ways I come across based on my actions and speech: intelligent, intimidating (especially to men), frank (to the point of rudeness), sarcastic, unafraid. Many people don't see the shy (which I have in DROVES), or the warmth (which I have, but see also: reserve).

Here are some ways I come across based on my physical appearance: frosty, New England patrician. The celebrity most often mentioned in comparison to me is Glenn Close. I think some men who find me attractive are intimidated by me physically because I'm tall.

What do you think my type is?

Comments

[veejane.livejournal.com]

I think you and I -- and not in a family way, but we're part of a segment of the culture -- work in subtler signals than most, which is why our shy is not usually as obvious as other people's shy. We don't go to a party and wallflower; we just don't go to the party, or we use strategies to mask how we're feeling.

(People I know with high emo intelligence can always tell anyway. Most of the world? Not so high on the emo intel scale.)

I think the tall-girl thing is an insane fixation among men. Like, that whole series of skits on SNL with Will Ferrell playing Janet Reno, which all boiled down to "I'm tall. This is strange. I shall now be wacky!"

[fatoudust.livejournal.com]

Well, having never seen you in person, I am apparently not intimidated by the whole height thing. I do see you as intelligent and unafraid, but I also see the shy a little bit. Not much, because of the whole online communication thing. But I find you engaging and witty and interesting. I like you, in short. Hee.

Anyway, I am equally completely unaware of how I am perceived. In fact, I tend to forget that I'm perceived at all, and that it should have any importance to me, until it interferes with something I'm trying to do.

(Oh, and btw, sorry I didn't respond to your email some time ago. I wasn't reacting in horror to your discovery of my RL name, although, hee! I know. It's funny how entrenched our online identities become.)

[forodwaith.livejournal.com]

Intelligent, definitely. I'd say you come across as warm online rather than reserved. But then I'm not fond of the overly effusive virtual personality.

People have told me I'm calm and unflappable (?!?). Obviously I'm a better actor than I think.

[mearagrrl.livejournal.com]

Hmm. Having met you a few times in person but mostly seen you online, I can see a little of all of that! The shy doesn't surprise me, though it's probably not something I'd have thought of on my own. Sarcastic...well, I tend to hang out with (and be) extremely sarcastic people, so I wouldn't rank you as super sarcastic, but possibly compared to NORMAL people..;) And warm, certainly.