hee!

The Looniversity has just announced its purchase of 15 large houses in my neighborhood from the local student slum landlord extraordinaire (and alumnus). Their plan is to honor any existing leases held by tenants, but not to renew any leases or contract new ones, and to look for single-family owners interested in renovating the houses to purchase them. These particular 15 houses include most of the most notorious frat party houses off campus, many of which have been occupied by the same frat for the past 15-20 years. The students are a little amazed. I am a little gleeful. I am sure the Looniversity, despite spending $3.7 million for these places (most of which are at least 4 bedroom) is gleeful too, since real estate prices in my neighborhood are bucking national trends and accelerating - a nice house around the block is for sale for $750K, which given our crime rate and the fact that it's across the street from an apartment building is pretty incredible. They'll probably make a bundle on gentrifiers.

The only bad news is, MY Frat Boys Next Door are unaffected by this purchase. But I am gleeful for my neighbors. I *knew* that when the Provost moved in 2 houses down from the most notorious corner in the neighborhood, we'd see some change.

Perfect Madness, by Judith Warner

Book read:
Judith Warner, Perfect Madness: Motherhood in the Age of Anxiety, 2005.
I was disappointed in this book - from the buzz and a review I read I was expecting more discussion of pratical public policy solutions that could help improve the national climate for parenting, and I was not at all expecting a chapter on how the 1980s trend of anorexia and bulimia has been transmogrified into a trend of obsessive mothering at the end of the 1990s and early 2000s. I am antsy, as are most people I think, when "our generation" is the focus of a book ("our generation" being defined by Warner as women born between 1957 and the early 1970s; as a 1972 baby I guess I qualify) and I find very little reflection of me or my friends in it. Also, I thought I was a Generation Xer, i.e. a slacker? Yet here's Warner telling me I was deeply influenced by the workaholism of the 1980s. Yeah, whatever.

Mostly what I wanted to say to this book and the women quoted anonymously in it is, if Warner is accurately reporting your lives and feelings, Ladies, you are letting the side the fuck down. You've decided to work part-time, or stay home with your child, but have big regrets about sacrificing your careers. You've ceded financial and some social power in your relationship to your husband, about whom you now feel resentful, distant, or not at all turned on. Your kids are not particularly happy that you stay home, and are suffering from the classic suburban malaise and overscheduling. You are in some competitive vortex with the other mothers in your social set, so that instead of supporting each other though the demanding work of full-time parenting, you are sniping at each other, often behind your backs. Get a fucking grip! Get a real life, a real partnership, a real relationship with your kids, and real friends, and get over yourself. Deal with life.

Realistically, I don't know anyone who really fits the stereotypes that Warner reinforces. And I don't want to. Why can't anybody write a book that's about how parenting really is? Oh yeah, it wouldn't sell.

current parenting failures

Brought to mind by an email just received from mr. flea.
Subject line: help help help.
Contents: I am earwormed with the Dragon Tales theme song!

I also was so earwormed, between about 11:30 and 1 last night, which kept me from sleeping (in conjunction with a headache and racing thoughts about work). Herewith the failures:

1. Too much TV. We watch nearly every day now. Casper asks first thing upon waking up, "Can I watch some PBS Kids?" and it generally occurs to her within 10 minutes of our arrival at home in the afternoons. I don't believe television is the root of all evil, but I don't happen to find the shows that are on during my viewing window (Clifford, Arthur, and Dragon Tales) either very good or particularly age-appropriate. Arthur in particular has a strong gender bias - all the female characters are pains in the ass, especially his sister DW. I also don't think a two year old should be watching TV every day. But then, she can't read the New Yorker - how else is she to unwind after a long hard day at school? And TV makes the parents' life much easier, short term - it allows for a simple breakfast and dressing process in the ams, as opposed to a tear-stained and defiant one, and allows the cooking of dinner in the pms (or the surfing of the internet, whichever is more appealing at the time.)

2. Chocolate milk. This started out as a treat, one time. Now she won't drink plain milk. Good grief. But then, I am the parent who eats an entire box of Thin Mints in one day, so who am I to judge?

3. Discipline problems. The kid won't listen, and when we punish it's not at all clear that we are making any impression at all, that a lesson has been learned. This wouldn't bug me so much - it seems really pretty developmentally normal, from what I know - except I see the cooperation and obedience at day care, and wish I could get the same results. (I should note that the kid is really easy-going, compared to the average 2.5 year old of my acquaintance. There's no tantrum-y monster here, or very rarely, anyway. But the complete lack of listening is galling.)

Clearly, the parents need to instil some discipline in themselves. Sigh.