current parenting failures

[flea]

Brought to mind by an email just received from mr. flea.
Subject line: help help help.
Contents: I am earwormed with the Dragon Tales theme song!

I also was so earwormed, between about 11:30 and 1 last night, which kept me from sleeping (in conjunction with a headache and racing thoughts about work). Herewith the failures:

1. Too much TV. We watch nearly every day now. Casper asks first thing upon waking up, "Can I watch some PBS Kids?" and it generally occurs to her within 10 minutes of our arrival at home in the afternoons. I don't believe television is the root of all evil, but I don't happen to find the shows that are on during my viewing window (Clifford, Arthur, and Dragon Tales) either very good or particularly age-appropriate. Arthur in particular has a strong gender bias - all the female characters are pains in the ass, especially his sister DW. I also don't think a two year old should be watching TV every day. But then, she can't read the New Yorker - how else is she to unwind after a long hard day at school? And TV makes the parents' life much easier, short term - it allows for a simple breakfast and dressing process in the ams, as opposed to a tear-stained and defiant one, and allows the cooking of dinner in the pms (or the surfing of the internet, whichever is more appealing at the time.)

2. Chocolate milk. This started out as a treat, one time. Now she won't drink plain milk. Good grief. But then, I am the parent who eats an entire box of Thin Mints in one day, so who am I to judge?

3. Discipline problems. The kid won't listen, and when we punish it's not at all clear that we are making any impression at all, that a lesson has been learned. This wouldn't bug me so much - it seems really pretty developmentally normal, from what I know - except I see the cooperation and obedience at day care, and wish I could get the same results. (I should note that the kid is really easy-going, compared to the average 2.5 year old of my acquaintance. There's no tantrum-y monster here, or very rarely, anyway. But the complete lack of listening is galling.)

Clearly, the parents need to instil some discipline in themselves. Sigh.

Comments

[susanw.livejournal.com]

Urgh. I caught a little bit of Dragon Tales the other day, and that is one annoying show with one annoying theme song.

Thanks to the wonders of Tivo, we've got Annabel's viewing largely limited to Maisy, Jack's Big Music Show, Between the Lions, and Franklin. Which, not coincidentally, are shows I find amusing/sweet, or at least non-annoying. But I feel like I let her watch too much, because it's so easy to plop her down in front of Maisy or Jack, especially if I'd had a long day or am scrambling to get dinner ready or make it to writers group or choir.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

No cable! No Tivo! We are completely at the mercy of public broadcasting! (Luckily, Casper has not yet figured out that any network channel might have things she would want to watch. Yet.)

[dxmachina.livejournal.com]

If it helps any, chocolate milk is good for her. :)

[forodwaith.livejournal.com]

Eh, chocolate milk is just milk + a few extra calories, which won't hurt Casper. If you want to save $ or fat, you can buy 1% milk & add chocolate syrup to it; we did that for quite a while.

On the TV front, I got nothing. It's all I can do to keep Nora's TV limited to tame stuff rather than the peer-group-approved violence (Batman, Ninja Turtles) that Sean wants to watch. sigh.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Yes, we are happy that at least Casper hasn't discovered that non-public boradcasting channels exist.

I am sure I am going to look back on this post when I have a 5 and 2 year old and laugh at my formerly high standards, as we drink pina coladas for dinner and watch Glitter on our Tivo.

[hecubot.livejournal.com]

1. Barney was the TV I needed to avoid during Emmett's toddler years and getting him ready for daycare. So I just taped Sesame Street. He preferred watching the same tapes over and over again. And it made it possible to get showered dressed and fed and out the door in the morning.

2. Chocolate milk really won't harm her.

3. I think of it more as behavior modification than discipline at that age. For us anyway, it was more about keeping the kid on the rails and making life functional. (see TV watching above) They get their moral formation by interacting with you everyday, not so much from being taught.

[loligo.livejournal.com]

Chuckles's daily TV usually consists of either one Disney or Miyazaki film, or 2-3 half-hour PBS shows (these days, that would be Clifford, Clifford, and Clifford -- we've got TiVo).

I'm pretty at peace with that. It's mostly calm, age-appropriate stuff, and she loves the stories and characters. I'm betting that once she learns to read at the same level that she can visually comprehend stuff, a lot of that will be replaced by reading.

[orthoepy.livejournal.com]

DH and I have convinced ourselves that television watching is a skill. Now, do I wish LB would watch more "Crashbox" and less "Scooby-Doo"? Hells, yeah. But I see the kids at his school who aren't allowed to watch tv during the week (much less an entire HOUR! EVERY DAY!) and frankly, they look puny and stunted. Television make kid strong!

Also, sometimes you just have to make dinner. Or, in LB's case, eat breakfast and more often than I like to admit, dinner.

We did manage to convince LB that Ovaltine was chocolate milk. Why Ovaltine? Because it has iron in it! And because I like it. Mmmmm. I drank a lot of it while pregnant, which was probably why LB was ten pounds. Not so Mmmmm.

Casper knows she can trust you and she loves you which is why the discipline is so hard. The teachers at school are not so trusted, so they have a bit of fear to play with, too. It gets better when they're older, I promise!

[dxmachina.livejournal.com]

We did manage to convince LB that Ovaltine was chocolate milk.

Wait a minute. Ovaltine IS chocolate milk. I loved Ovaltine when I was a kid. Of course, it was also advertised on one of my favorite TV shows, Captain Midnight, so I was programmed to ask for it.

[orthoepy.livejournal.com]

Ovaltine is better than chocolate milk! It has, like, vitamins and stuff. Right?

We do use the plain malt stuff, though, not the chocolate malt stuff.

Captain Midnight agrees with me.

[dxmachina.livejournal.com]

It also comes in plain old chocolate flavor, which is what I usually get when I buy some. Hmmm, maybe I should stop at the store on the way home.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

We use Quik, which as mr. flea points out is fortified with extra calcium and vitamins and stuff. He also pointed out my snobbery, in that I'd rather she was drinking non-fortified Ghiardelli cocoa...

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

I do love your positive approach to life! I certainly do not have a stunted kid. Must be the TV.

[minim_calibre]

TV is a vitamin!

Did you start him straight on the Ovaltine, or had he had regular chocolate milk first?

[orthoepy.livejournal.com]

I think we started LB straight on Ovaltine. In fact, think we used it for hot cocoa. He used to drink it in espresso cups, it was the cutest thing EVER. Now he has huge mugs, and wants two, with marshmallows and whipped cream ... sigh.

[theodosia.livejournal.com]

I have to ask myself, whether I'd rather deal with PsychoBitch!Mom who is at the end of her rope, or Regular!Mom who has had a blessed half hour of unstress while I watched TV and drank my chocolate milk.

Getting some agreeable and low-stress kiddie DVDs that Casper can watch over and over may solve the horrible TV show issue. My nephews were particularly fond of MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO which my picky S-in-law thought was peaceful and positive.

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we do well with The Muppet Show sometimes - I especially like it because it comes in shortish chunks - movies are hard turn turn off partway. They need to release other seasons!

[burrell.livejournal.com]

Well if you're a bad mom, I am too because Franny watches a whole lot of tv. Maybe not everyday, but she makes up for the daycare days on the days she's home with me and I am tired and not sure what else to do. Try Tivo. There is a lot of age appropriate stuff. Franny likes Sesame Street, Teletubbies, Blues Clues is her current fave. We also try to keep a Zaboomafoo or Caillou on hand. I've never seen Jack's Big Music Show, but I've heard other moms rec it too.

As for listening, you can always try giving Casper the opportunity to "practice listening" by giving her easy activities to obey, like "Here Casper, let's do some drawing now." In general, I try to discipline Frances by aiming her towards the next *fun* activity, like "We are going to the park now, so can you put on your shoes?"

[casperflea.livejournal.com]

Alas, weep for us, for we have no Tivo (and no VCR, even). We all like Sesame Street, and Casper lives in constant hope that Teletubbies will be on at 5pm, but they're mid-morning shows here.

[aimeejmc.livejournal.com]

Do you have a DVD player? We are getting rid of our cable, but pixkristin is going to Tivo and record to DVD a whole lotta Noggin shows. 64 Zoo Lane, Dora, Jack's Big Music Show, Franklin, Connie the Cow, Maisy, and Miffy.

Anyway...I can burn you some DVD's. They are really age appropriate for Casper and she'd really like them, I think.

Em, at 15 months, watches a bit of TV. She watches in the am while I get ready for work and it's on in the afternoons while her and her dad play (usually Farscape - ask her anything about season 3. Total pro.)

So yeah. Tv = good. Make kid grow!

[cashmerepett.livejournal.com]

Owen watches lots of tv, too. I DVR a lot of stuff but we also have some decent dvd's. I swear, the first week the new baby was home, he was watching like 10 hours of tv a day. But we watch a lot of television, so I know there's no hope of us modeling good tv habits.

But we're getting better about shutting it off and we always keep it off at mealtimes. I've bought some good CD's and have been trying to play them--I highly recommend the Curious George soundtrack! It's very calming, relaxing stuff.

We also started with chocolate milk as a "treat" but have progressively gotten more casual about it. I always try to split half&half of the premade chocolate milk with white milk but Christopher usually just gives it to him straight up.

As far as "listening" goes, I'm happy if I get one good response a day. I think it's pretty age appropriate, though, so I'm trying not to panic.