All about my underpants

At some point during my high school years, I switched to wearing exclusively black cotton underpants - specifically, my One True Underpant, black cotton Jockey for Her string bikinis. These ceased to be made some time in the mid 1990s, but I found some replacements, and my current underpants collection includes Jockey "elance" string bikinis, jockey hipsters, and j. crew bikinis, all black, all 100% cotton. (I do have a few other pairs of underpants for specialized needs - pale garments, teh sex, etc.)

Now, I have another rule about my underpants - I will not wear holey underpants. I am a grownup, and while I am cheap, I am not that cheap. Lately I have had multiple pairs of underpants self-destruct into holes within a short period of time, so I am in need of an underpants re-stock. So whenever I am in a store, I check their underpants to see if they carry any black all-cotton underpants that could be suitable.

Reader, they do not. What with the advent of microfiber, the thong, and the boy-short, I am lucky to find any cotton underpants at all, and they are never black. I have checked basic online clothing purveyors (j. crew, lands' end) too, and no dice.

From the wonderful site www.barenecessities.com, I have discovered that I can order black jockey underpants (bikinis or hipsters) for $6.50 a pair (highway robbery, but I digress). But they are not all black - the waist elastic is white. This annoys me considerably.

Reader, dear reader, do you know where I can find the underpants of my dreams?

In other private parts news, I think my left nipple is broken. Ow.

neerer meme; broken nipple

A book you own that no one on your friends list does:
This is the easy one: Jack Davis, ed., Sandy Pylos: From Nestor to Navarino. I picked this one because I helped edit it and am thanked in the credits. I have dozens of archaeology/classics books I bet nobody owns (people's dissertations published as monographs, archaeological theory written by Scots in the 1970s, etc.)

A CD you own that no one on your friends list does:
The Wolverton Brothers, release by Deary Me records, Cincinnati OH, 1999 (mr. flea's college friend ran the label. I've never listened to it, but we saw them at a live show once).

A DVD/VHS tape you own that no one on your friends list does:
This is the hard one: we're going with the NoJo the Original Baby Sling Demonstration Video (unopened in its plastic wrap).

A place you've been that no one on your friends list has been:
Durres, Albania.

On investigation in the privacy of my home, I believe that my broken nipple is not a result of the super-biting Casper causing a bruise, but rather, a blocked Montgomery's tubercle. Exacerbated by the bitey girl. Google gives me no love on what to do, but I suppose it is like any blocked sebaceous gland. Now you know.