Casper's new school
Dec. 16th, 2005 01:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fleaCasper's doing okay. I, on the other hand, am kind of a wreck.
We've been taking her for about 2 hours in the afternoon - roughly 3-5 - since Tuesday. Tuesday I took her and stayed with her, and she was okay, a little clingy. Wednesday mr. flea too her and left and she was fine - ate her snack, played with other kids. Thursday I took her and left and when I came back I was greeted with "Well, she screamed for a while, and then followed me around like a puppy." Today mr. flea worked from home so he could take her because I'm developing an irrational aversion to the place.
So, rational problems:
1. The paperwork end of things there is a mess; I think they should be ashamed of themselves, but I suppose they're not that different from the average place of business - just normal human chaos and only 1 person can do X, and she's out of the office except on Tuesdays in months with an R in them, etc. Solution: persistence and patience.
2. I am uncomfortable with the 2 teachers - Miss Jenny and Miss Rosa - because I feel they don't take the lead in communicating well with me, and don't take the time to get to know and reassure me or Casper. Miss Rosa seems warm but rather shy, and her English is not great. Miss Jenny is young and efficient and sort of strict - she does a lot of the herding. There's supposed to be a piece of paper sent home every day with an account of the day, but so far we've only had one on Wednesday, and it was pretty generic. I'd think in the first few days of having a new kid, especially one who's never been in group day care before, you'd make extra fuss over both the kid and the parents. They aren't physically warm to the kids. It feels like there's a lot more herding than hugging. When I'm in the room, multiple kids come up to me looking for attention, showing off their books or whatever they're doing - which makes me feel like they aren't getting enough attention on a regular basis.
Solution: Obviously I can't change the culture of the day care or the personalities of the teachers. I can work at making sure I get the information I need from them - not being shy and put off by their business and brusqueness, but being persistent and asking for details when they say things have gone badly. I will also need to work on building a relationship with them. If I continue to feel uncomfortable with the culture of the classroom after a month or so, then we can reconsider what the next step might be - look for another place, or I don't know what.
Irrational problem:
My baby! Is being herded like cattle! Her individual needs are not being closely monitored! She's not getting individual attention! Nobody hugs her! She has to deal with other kids who may be pushy and mean! They (teachers and kids) are not appreciating her inherent fabulousness!
Solution: Attempt to apply rational thought. Is this actually making Casper unhappy? Answer seems to be, not much. When asked why she cried, she said she cried for food (she didn't eat her snack). She did say Miss Jenny helped her when she was crying, and in general seems to like Miss Jenny. She is old enough that she needs to learn how to deal with her peers when they are doing something that bothers her, and she is old enough to learn how to make new friends. This is an appropriate developmental step for her. I cannot baby her forever. Let her grow. Let her go.
(Wah.)
We've been taking her for about 2 hours in the afternoon - roughly 3-5 - since Tuesday. Tuesday I took her and stayed with her, and she was okay, a little clingy. Wednesday mr. flea too her and left and she was fine - ate her snack, played with other kids. Thursday I took her and left and when I came back I was greeted with "Well, she screamed for a while, and then followed me around like a puppy." Today mr. flea worked from home so he could take her because I'm developing an irrational aversion to the place.
So, rational problems:
1. The paperwork end of things there is a mess; I think they should be ashamed of themselves, but I suppose they're not that different from the average place of business - just normal human chaos and only 1 person can do X, and she's out of the office except on Tuesdays in months with an R in them, etc. Solution: persistence and patience.
2. I am uncomfortable with the 2 teachers - Miss Jenny and Miss Rosa - because I feel they don't take the lead in communicating well with me, and don't take the time to get to know and reassure me or Casper. Miss Rosa seems warm but rather shy, and her English is not great. Miss Jenny is young and efficient and sort of strict - she does a lot of the herding. There's supposed to be a piece of paper sent home every day with an account of the day, but so far we've only had one on Wednesday, and it was pretty generic. I'd think in the first few days of having a new kid, especially one who's never been in group day care before, you'd make extra fuss over both the kid and the parents. They aren't physically warm to the kids. It feels like there's a lot more herding than hugging. When I'm in the room, multiple kids come up to me looking for attention, showing off their books or whatever they're doing - which makes me feel like they aren't getting enough attention on a regular basis.
Solution: Obviously I can't change the culture of the day care or the personalities of the teachers. I can work at making sure I get the information I need from them - not being shy and put off by their business and brusqueness, but being persistent and asking for details when they say things have gone badly. I will also need to work on building a relationship with them. If I continue to feel uncomfortable with the culture of the classroom after a month or so, then we can reconsider what the next step might be - look for another place, or I don't know what.
Irrational problem:
My baby! Is being herded like cattle! Her individual needs are not being closely monitored! She's not getting individual attention! Nobody hugs her! She has to deal with other kids who may be pushy and mean! They (teachers and kids) are not appreciating her inherent fabulousness!
Solution: Attempt to apply rational thought. Is this actually making Casper unhappy? Answer seems to be, not much. When asked why she cried, she said she cried for food (she didn't eat her snack). She did say Miss Jenny helped her when she was crying, and in general seems to like Miss Jenny. She is old enough that she needs to learn how to deal with her peers when they are doing something that bothers her, and she is old enough to learn how to make new friends. This is an appropriate developmental step for her. I cannot baby her forever. Let her grow. Let her go.
(Wah.)
no subject
Date: 2005-12-18 04:18 am (UTC)Also, I would like to state for the record that it is perfectly normal for Casper to have screamed for a while and then followed a teacher around. I would also never begin a conversation with a parent with those words. And I would never ever tell a new parent that their child "followed me around like a puppy."
I may be reading more into what you've said than is really there, but some flags come up for me; maybe not red, but amber anyway.
Anyhow, I will stop here with the unasked for advice... but if you ever want to just vent or get my take on something, please please feel free to call or email me. This is my field, and I want things to be good for Casper and for you and mr. flea.
Big hugs and Xmas love!
--Lola