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[personal profile] flea
I received an email yesterday from the wait list for the on-campus child care center. For those of you following along, this is the center on whose wait list Casper has been since she was 2 months old - so a total now of 24 months waiting. It is run by a major national corporation that runs on-site child care centers for Fortune 500 companies and it has the highest state rating. The email noted that spaces for 2-5 year olds were opening up between now and Jan. 1, and any family on the wait list wanting to be considered for available spaces should email to "opt-in" to the current round of placement. (This saves them calling the XX families on the wait list individually and in order, since all of them surely have other child care and many don't want to switch right now.)

So, should we opt-in?

Pro: Cost and hours. Actually cheaper than what we are doing now, with possibility for longer hours or greater flexibility for when we need it (like travel by mr. flea). Open 6am-6pm and I think a full-time slot enables you to use as much of that as you need. We're paying $1000+ a month now, which is about the same as the 2-year-old rate at the center, and there is a subsidy (maybe 20%?) which we would qualify for.

Con: Not much con on this one.

Pro: Convenience & location. I could easily drop Casper off and pick her up on the way to and from work - the center is on the bus route I ride. I could visit her at lunch time if I wanted to. Currently I spend an hour walking to fetch Casper home 2 days a week, and now that it's quite dark by 6pm when we get home, that feels a little unsafe (traffic-wise, not crime-wise). Let's not mention rain, which luckily is infrequent.

Con: The hour walking to get Casper is my only exercise! Though I could walk her home from the center if I chose and the weather was good.

Pro: Reliability. If the center's teachers are sick, they have replacements. If the nanny is sick, we take time off work. Not sure what their policy for closing in bad weather (snow) is.

Con: Strictness. If Casper is mildly sick, like a mild cold, we send her to the nanny. Centers generally do not want kids who are at all sick, so we would have to take time off work.

Pro: More like school, a good transition. Casper is getting older, and if we stay in the area she'll start public school right as she turns 4 (our neighborhood school has become a Montessori Magnet and if you don't get them in at 4 you have little chance of getting a slot. The classes are mixed age and presumably age-appropriate - the 4 year olds I know from the neighborhood seem to be thriving). The center has larger numbers of children together as they age, and a curriculum that develops more like a preschool curriculum as they hit 3. This would help with school-readiness.

Con: Casper is very happy in the family-style setting with the nanny. I really like that she is exposed to children of a mix of ages from baby to 5, both within the share and at the local park. I am a little uncomfortable with the trend in corporate child-care to make everything like school. My two-year old should be able to hang out and play, not have structured activities, right? She's two! I think the teacher ratio mandated by the state for 2 year olds is 6:1; currently Casper is at most one of 3 children the nanny is watching, and usually 1 of 2.

Pro: A new start. To a certain extent we have nanny-fatigue. It's a lot of work coordinating and managing the various personalities and concerns. Sometimes I feel the nanny is stuck in routines with the girls and doesn't have new activies and stimulating things as they grow older. I get annoyed with Rich Family and feel a little exploited by the whole situation. Our participation, on a schedule which is not our ideal, is what makes this work for them. I feel like I do all the work and make all the compromises.

Con: Casper loves the nanny and the other children, and vice versa. It would be sad to give up those relationships, and probably stressful for Casper. We've been in this share since Casper was 9 months old. And if we left in January, it might well be awkward, since we'd be breaking up the existing arrangement which we'd said we'd do through May 15 (though we have agreed that any family can leave the share for any reason given a month's notice). We don't have much of a social relationship with Rich Family (for various reasons: incompatibility of economic philosophy, we dislike RF Dad, we are dorks who can't make friends), so we'd probably not see them much.

Pro: This would suit our longer-term needs. The nanny-share will probably end May 15, since RF Mom doesn't work summers. RF's daughter will start private preschool in the AMs next fall at the school her brother attends. The nanny wants to move to part-time work, but she doesn't like working until 5:30 pm, which is the time that RF needs coverage until, so RF's kids will probably be in after-school care at the private school. We haven't specifically discussed whether the nanny would want to continue on with us, but I think she would. Casper is her favorite. Of course, we can't pay the nanny her full hourly wage so we'd have to find a new sharing family, with all the hassles that entails - I've done it twice now, and it SUCKS. With Casper safely in the center, we wouldn't have to scramble, probably at the beginning and end of the summer, and I'm not sure for how long we'll stay in the area, so it could all be scrambling for only 2 months' worth of stability.

Also, once one has a child in the center, one gets wait-list priority for other children. So we could enroll potential future child #2 prior to conception and expect to have a decent chance of him/her getting in to the center. 2 kids would be expensive, but, you know, two kids are expensive.

Con: We aren't entirely sure what our longer-term needs really are. mr. flea's job potential, the date of completion of his project work and funding, and the date of completion of his dissertation are all unknowns and not necessarily the same dates. Our conception, gestation, and successful delivery of a healthy child #2 are unpredictable. My potential enrollment in school for a certificate (this is what the "Heidi emails" I've mentioned are about) is a factor - will the certificate go through? Is it worth doing if we may move before end 2006, or if we have a child before end 2006? Will I keep working if we have a second child and mr. flea is still in school, or will we tough it out on savings for a few months while he gets employed?

Sigh. I am tempted to opt-in - after all, there's no guarantee we'll be tapped, but the odds are tipping in our favor as we rise up the wait list. And there's something so tempting about escaping the messiness of the human interactions of the nanny-share for the antiseptic corporatism of the center. But life isn't supposed to be clean, no matter how much we wish it were.

Date: 2005-11-08 03:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mearagrrl.livejournal.com
Sounds like you should opt in, but try not to worry if you don't get it?

I mean, either way it sounds like things are going to change on May 15, and sure, you might not need it in the future, but having the option of the possible sibling #2 have daycare is definitely good.

Date: 2005-11-08 03:58 pm (UTC)
ext_2277: (Default)
From: [identity profile] gchick.livejournal.com
Opt in. It sounds like what you're opting into is staying on the wait list, yes? Not paying anything in advance, losing a deposit, or the like?

I've seen you fret far too much about the missed work days and last-minute schedule juggling and money panics every time the share threatens to realign to think that it's not worth taking the chance while you have it. The benefits of the current share seem to be largely social ones; I don't want to suggest that that's not important, but it does make it almost impossible not to put all the emotional weight on that side of the equation. Remember, though, that there will also be emotional benefits to a less stressed and more stable and predictable situation for you all.

Date: 2005-11-08 04:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ste-noni.livejournal.com
What Amy said. Opting in doesn't appear tohave a down side. Also, this preserves options for you should things change unexpectedly.

Date: 2005-11-08 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dxmachina.livejournal.com
Another opt in vote. I'm not seeing a lot of downside, and if they pick you you can still decide to give it a pass.

Date: 2005-11-08 04:14 pm (UTC)
fufaraw: mist drift upslope (Default)
From: [personal profile] fufaraw
[livejournal.com profile] gchick is wise. She said everything I was going to say, but with much more conciseness and logic. I'ma just point at her and nod.

I do think your point about the center segregating kids into age groups is a valid one, but perhaps a wider-age playgroup on weekend mornings could help with that?

Date: 2005-11-08 04:16 pm (UTC)
ext_12411: (Default)
From: [identity profile] theodosia.livejournal.com
I'd say opt-in. By the time they get around to deciding if they'll take you, circumstances could have changed for you to make it a slam-dunk decision. Or not -- but at least you'll have that option open rather than feeling you have no choice in the matter.

Date: 2005-11-08 04:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] loligo.livejournal.com
Opt in, definitely. And if you do end up switching to the university daycare center, I can tell you that mine is not *nearly* as picky about sick kids as they sound when you first read the rules. Fever, vomiting, and diarrhea are out of the question, but they'll take kids with colds unless the child is seriously spewing snot like a big green mucous fountain. If they turned away kids with a little cough or the sniffles, there'd never be anyone there.

Date: 2005-11-08 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cashmerepett.livejournal.com
What everyone else said. You've made a comprehensive list and I don't see the downside of opting-in.

Date: 2005-11-08 05:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jonquil.livejournal.com
Opt in and make the decision if/when you get to. You aren't losing anything, and the school expects it -- that's why they don't just give the slot to the top of the list.

Date: 2005-11-08 10:22 pm (UTC)
minim_calibre: (Default)
From: [personal profile] minim_calibre
Opt in.

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