letting go of the dream

[flea]

In 1971, my grandparents reluctantly bought a little cottage in Woods Hole, MA for $21,000. They didn't want to spend the money, and they borrowed the $5000 down payment from my father, who had just gotten out of the service and had some capital. They retired there in 1975. We visited them often - I lived there for a few months in the fall of 1974, and for the summer of 1981 - and it became a special place for me. My best birthday ever was there, my fourth, when we came home from the beach to a surprise party (in advance of the actual birthday, so a complete surprise), and there were gumdrops on the cake. Every grandchild's height from infancy to adulthood is marked on a doorjamb in the hall. I've lived in 19 different apartments/houses in my life, and that's counting 3 different college dorm rooms as one 'apartment', and not counting the two academic years spent in Greece. I'd lived in 10 of those dwellings, in 5 different cities in 4 states, before I was 13. I decided in my teens that Woods Hole was the place I actually belonged, and I decided I would inherit the house there from my grandparents.

The house is going to go on the market shortly for $529,000. Right after my grandmother died a year ago it was appraised at $405,000, and we thought about buying it, and even made an offer to the estate at about this time last year. We decided over the winter, while the house was in limbo waiting for a septic system report, that we couldn't afford to buy the house - buying a house that we could actually live in needed to be a priority in the next 2-3 years. My mother took up the torch, and was ready to purchase until she heard the list price this morning. I've told her not to do it - for that price, she could buy a house in Martha's Vineyard (her true belonging-place) that doesn't need a complete new septic system, major foundation and structural repairs, new siding, insulation and a heating system in the second floor, modernization of everything since it hasn't been touched since 1971 (my god, the kitchen!), you get the idea. If the new owners tear it down, in this case they may actually be doing the sensible thing. I should note, the price is not outrageous, given my glance at comparable properties in the area. The real estate market as a whole is outrageous, but the asking price for this house is reasonable, once you accept the prevailing outrageousness.

Goodbye, 25 Q. I loved you so.

Comments

[richtermom.livejournal.com]

I hate being a grown up and being rational and responsible.

Very briefly, I considered buying my grandparents' house when they were both getting very ill and would need, if not constant care, much more frequent visits up in Sheboygan. But I wasn't ready to buy any property yet, and I ended up not making any move, and after they passed, our family sold the house. I haven't even gone past it since.

Someone bought my great grandma's house back in about '74. We rode past it whenever we went on errands with the grandparents, since they were only a block away. It really upset me that they tore out a wall that divided a little side parlor from the front room, or they opened up the kitchen more -- really obvious stuff that could be seen through the front window. Heaven only knows what they did to the upstairs flat, where my mom was born.

I wonder if you could make any sale contingent upon taking back the doorjamb, especially since it would probably be just before demolition anyway? It sounds like a very cool heirloom.

[dxmachina.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry it didn't work out for you guys. It's a shame the real estate market has gotten so ridiculous. I totally get the impulse. One of my little win-the-lottery fantasies is to someday buy my grandparents' house, just because of the memories (although it would be a great house to live in). I suspect the price would be in the same ballpark. It's not far from my parents' house, so I always make a point to drive by it on Christmas Day on my way to dinner. (I still visit my other grandparents' old house in Chicago when I'm out there, too.)

[cindywrites.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you. Knowing what I paid for my needs-everything-house almost two years ago, on the North Shore, makes the 529K sound reasonable.

My mother closes on the sale of her house (in which I was conceived, and was married from) on August 2nd. I wake up in tears at least once a week, because soon, for me, there will be no truer words than "There's no place like home."

We could have bought it in '96 for 130K. Dh and told my parents they were under-valuing it, and offered 170K. Then my father got concerned that there were too many problems with it, to let us buy it. She put it on the market a couple of months ago, for 485 and sold it on the first day.

[makaidiver.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry it didn't work out. I had hopes that my grandfather's farm would stay in the family, and then my parents house, but neither were to be, and I certainly wasn't in a position to buy either one. It's sad when a house passes from the family. I hope that someone buys it who will love it. You know, if the height markings are actually on the door jamb and not on the wall next to it, you might consider asking the realtor to have a carpenter rip it out for you and replace it with appropriate molding/wood? It's not the same as owning the house but having a literal piece of it/its history might be cool.