life stuff
Apr. 14th, 2005 02:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fleaI'm getting a lot of pressure from my boss to actually enroll in library school. (I've taken 2 classes, but only as audit, so they don't actually count as credits towards a degree). There are 2 local options, but only one - the one without a national reputation - really allows part-time enrollment. It's cheap, it's an okay education in a field I already know a fair amount about and that isn't very challenging (the two classes I've taken were at the nationally reputable school, and were pretty easy - I did all my homework at work, and it was practical stuff, not intellectually demanding work.) As a librarian I can make more money and still basically do what I do now, with less focus on stapler maintenance and more focus on choosing books.
But I'm resistant. Part of my resistance is practical. In theory, mr. flea will finish his degree next summer, and we may or may not move when he gets a job. Next summer is also the time to have a second child if we want to space them 3 years apart, which we do. (Next summer! That means I need to plan to get pregnant again at the end of this year! Yikes!) It's a logical time for me to leave my job and stay home with the children, and go back to school part-full time for my sanity, which would suffer if I were home full time with an infant and a 3 year old. (Although, at least the 3 year old can TALK to you.) But since I don't know where we'll be living then, I'm reluctant to start school here now, when I could wait until we are there (or here having bought a house, if we end up staying here).
Of course, if mr flea doesn't finish on time - and let's face it, he's a slow-movin' man - everything in my pretty plan is frelled.
Beyond the practical, though, there's a strong part of me that doesn't want to go get a library degree. I'm not sure if this is because I really don't want to be a librarian, or if I'm still dealing with the emotional hangover from my academic career. I'm not dying to be a librarian, but I like the work, and I'm naturally suited to it and good at it, and it makes decent money, and I've got to have a job for my own self-worth and financial security issues. (The trust fund keeps not turning up, and people, could you get on that please?) But I also just don't want to commit to anything, career-wise. After I graduated from college I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I said, "self, you've got to do something, and you're good at archaeology and school, so go to grad school!" That didn't end so well, and it took me forever to disentangle myself - I literally spent 5 years wanting to quit before I managed to. Am I in danger of doing the same thing again with librarianship? Will I only ever feel secure in jobs I can take or leave, like the current one?
But I'm resistant. Part of my resistance is practical. In theory, mr. flea will finish his degree next summer, and we may or may not move when he gets a job. Next summer is also the time to have a second child if we want to space them 3 years apart, which we do. (Next summer! That means I need to plan to get pregnant again at the end of this year! Yikes!) It's a logical time for me to leave my job and stay home with the children, and go back to school part-full time for my sanity, which would suffer if I were home full time with an infant and a 3 year old. (Although, at least the 3 year old can TALK to you.) But since I don't know where we'll be living then, I'm reluctant to start school here now, when I could wait until we are there (or here having bought a house, if we end up staying here).
Of course, if mr flea doesn't finish on time - and let's face it, he's a slow-movin' man - everything in my pretty plan is frelled.
Beyond the practical, though, there's a strong part of me that doesn't want to go get a library degree. I'm not sure if this is because I really don't want to be a librarian, or if I'm still dealing with the emotional hangover from my academic career. I'm not dying to be a librarian, but I like the work, and I'm naturally suited to it and good at it, and it makes decent money, and I've got to have a job for my own self-worth and financial security issues. (The trust fund keeps not turning up, and people, could you get on that please?) But I also just don't want to commit to anything, career-wise. After I graduated from college I didn't know what I wanted to do, so I said, "self, you've got to do something, and you're good at archaeology and school, so go to grad school!" That didn't end so well, and it took me forever to disentangle myself - I literally spent 5 years wanting to quit before I managed to. Am I in danger of doing the same thing again with librarianship? Will I only ever feel secure in jobs I can take or leave, like the current one?