I have a similar problem with my mother, although she doesn't so much give advice as take my worries and make them worse. For the tooth example, she would come out with things like "Isn't that expensive?" "How will you pay for that?" "What if the dentist accidentally sticks you with the dental tool and you get and infection?" "What if you end up partially paralyzed in the face?"
My solution has been that I don't talk about things like that until they are over. Unfortunately that does lead to some lies of omission, or just a reluctance to talk to her. When my job and department was very precarious, I found I could hardly talk to her because that was all that was on my mind.
I tend to have more the trait of your mother. When my mother complains to me, I am always giving her practical solutions and she just wants to complain. Of course she complains about things like possibly having killer mold in her basement but refuses to have it tested and comes up with solutions like moving out of her house and hoping to have it repossessed for back taxes so she doesn't have to deal with it.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2009-01-25 05:16 pm (UTC)My solution has been that I don't talk about things like that until they are over. Unfortunately that does lead to some lies of omission, or just a reluctance to talk to her. When my job and department was very precarious, I found I could hardly talk to her because that was all that was on my mind.
I tend to have more the trait of your mother. When my mother complains to me, I am always giving her practical solutions and she just wants to complain. Of course she complains about things like possibly having killer mold in her basement but refuses to have it tested and comes up with solutions like moving out of her house and hoping to have it repossessed for back taxes so she doesn't have to deal with it.
Mothers!