april showers

It rained this morning, cancelling the Easter Egg Hunt in the park, but Casper was only briefly disappointed and then donned raincoat and boots to stomp in puddles, catch rain in a bucket, etc. while I drank coffee, dry on the pollen-dusty porch.

Now everyone is napping (though I did sleep for more than an hour I think, on the couch with Casper on my chest) and I ran out and dug over the rest of the garden bed and planted beets and carrots. This morning's rain was not very long or penetrating unfortunately, though we are still misty and damp. Peas 1 are doing well and climbing the supports; peas 2 are 4 inches tall, some mesclun lettuces are up, and so, remarkably, are some spinaches, though in danger of encroachment by wild violets. A few of last year's tulips have deigned to bloom, which is a bonus. Azalea is fully out and so is wisteria, and while my dogwood only has tiny petals yet, the rest of the street is looking dogwoody. Herb garden looking well, though the rosemary is attempting a takeover as usual.

Been an up and down day. mr. flea and I are both struggling with our work and where we are in our lives right now. Casper, on the other hand, seems more happy with where she is in her life. Tomorrow is a joint birthday party for two girls born the same day (turning 3) and rescheduled Easter eggs. (For Easter proper, we'll be in Ohio.)

maybe this is why I am such a damned bad mood all the time, huh?

Tired. Casper seems to be settling with Daddy, reading the last book right before 9pm, so I say goodnight and go to bed. Casper then spends the next hour wandering between my and her bed. Claims she wants to sleep with me, but is restless and apparently not tired. mr. flea and I get fed up and shut her in her room. She whines quietly for half an hour. I might have been able to fall asleep despite this, except I have some heartburn and the armadillo is now kicking the hell out of me. mr. flea gets softhearted and goes to Casper's room to help her fall asleep. This results in loud crying that she wants to sleep in Monmy's bed. After 15 minutes, I go get her and put her in my bed and warn her that it is time to sleep. She falls asleep. I turn over, removing her finger from my belly button, since I can't sleep in the position that allows her finger in my belly button. She wakes up and demands belly button. I say no, explaining. She cries. I lose it, and tell her off for making Mommy too tired to live, and leave the room. Much crying despite mr. flea's arrival ensues. Twenty minutes later, Casper knocks on the door. mr. flea explains that they have come to an agreement that she will tell me she's sorry for keeping me up, and I will reassure her that I still love her, and she will go to sleep with him. This goes fine, except for the part where she refuses to leave and demands my belly button and to sleep with Mommy.

It's now 11:30 and she's in her bed with him, crying off and on, and I am too angry to sleep, and contemplating another day completely fucking shot due to exhaustion tomorrow. And I wonder why I bite people's heads off when they're idiots at work.