the egregious shirt

On the bus in I saw a shirt of such stunning wrongness that I had to run right in and write about it. Imagine if you will: lime-green, apparently polyester of that old-fashion 1970s sort, which is to say thick and coarse-looking. There is an empire waist below which are crossed swags, not unlike those of a curtain, which reveal the navel. Above the bustline is pale pink netting up to a high neckline, which is surrounded by sparkly opalescent beads that are long and feathery. I cannot report on the sleeves, as they were covered. This monstrosity could be amusing when worn as evening wear in an ironic fashion, perhaps with a black skirt and sparkly shoes. When worn at 7:30 AM with cropped camo cargo pants, black slides, and a while hoodie, however, it was simply Bad and Wrong. I am ashamed to report the wearer caught me staring, but I hope the smile I gave convinced her I was simply in a non-fully-caffeinated daze, and not trying to memorize the details of the ugliest garment I have seen in weeks.