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Oct. 31st, 2004 07:21 pmWe had a bad melt down-y Saturday, the worst in ages. Reminds me of those weekends last winter with the crashing and the tears and the napping. Except last winter was exhaustion and overwhelm and this is return of depression, ebbing away of the yummy protective hormones.
I stopped pumping at the beginning of this month, and my acne is back, and I haven't had my period yet but I expect it. Damn, I liked those hormones. So I need to think about upping my dose again, and think about what that will mean for nursing - she nurses less now, but will be exposed to a higher concentration than before if I do it.
I was feeling horrible - after a stressful meeting of the nanny-share parents, everything is way too complicated and I feel the burden is entirely on me, and I hate it that the nanny is (or thinks she is) allergic to our house - I take it so personally (in addition to being annoyed at what a big pain in the ass it is.) And Casper totally freaked out - crying for no reason, desperate to be with me, refusing food. I think she was reacting strongly to my unhappiness.
Today we took it easy, had brunch with some people we'd invited to our house before (social efforts pay off!), Casper split her lip falling down but aside from that drama it was mellow. Gorgeous day. We carved pumpkins and tried to nurture ourselves.
Now mr. flea has gone to work. Ran out of candy early so have turned out the light - we got a lot more people this year than last. I really resent the older kids who don't even bother to wear a costume. Tiny kid time in the park was fun.
I stopped pumping at the beginning of this month, and my acne is back, and I haven't had my period yet but I expect it. Damn, I liked those hormones. So I need to think about upping my dose again, and think about what that will mean for nursing - she nurses less now, but will be exposed to a higher concentration than before if I do it.
I was feeling horrible - after a stressful meeting of the nanny-share parents, everything is way too complicated and I feel the burden is entirely on me, and I hate it that the nanny is (or thinks she is) allergic to our house - I take it so personally (in addition to being annoyed at what a big pain in the ass it is.) And Casper totally freaked out - crying for no reason, desperate to be with me, refusing food. I think she was reacting strongly to my unhappiness.
Today we took it easy, had brunch with some people we'd invited to our house before (social efforts pay off!), Casper split her lip falling down but aside from that drama it was mellow. Gorgeous day. We carved pumpkins and tried to nurture ourselves.
Now mr. flea has gone to work. Ran out of candy early so have turned out the light - we got a lot more people this year than last. I really resent the older kids who don't even bother to wear a costume. Tiny kid time in the park was fun.