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Happy Mother's Day
May. 9th, 2004 02:12 pmGood start of the day - convinced mr. flea to run out to Guglhupf for chocolate croissant for brekkie. Yum. Then had to kick him out of the house, because Friday he said "I have to work all weekend" and did he work at all Saturday? He did not. And he still hasn't gotten the hint that when the baby is taking her morning nap on Sundays, and I sit down to do the checkbook rather than talk to him, this is a sign that he should be leaving for work. (Do I like being the nag? No, I do not, but if I don't nag, he makes up the time evenings during the week, and I never see him awake and have to cope with more nights alone, and I like that even less.)
More minor bads: am slowly downloading prodigious quantity of phlegm from my head. Head hurts, throat hurts. Yesterday managed to get bad parenting advice from both sides - in-laws agree that the reason the baby doesn't sleep nights is I'm breastfeeding (um, no). Mother suggests many things - she is more sensible - but argues strongly that no baby can sleep well if in its parents' room, which is disproved by several babies I know, and suggests that she trained her children to be indepedent, and rarely had sleep difficulties. (Later reading of baby diaries for brother and sister - the latter one of those amazingly good sleepers, who still had to undergo a week-long "cry cure" at one point - disproves her statement, but I am magnanimously refraining from telling her so). So tired of parenting advice, but still have parenting problems cannot solve on own - a difficult catch-22.
Good parts of day: Casper just put herself down for a nap with no crying - I deposited her in the crib at her normal time, and played sleep on the bed, and she slowly inched her way to sleep. But no crying, and no help from me. We have decided that she has two night-time cries - one is "I want you" and can be safely ignored, and will often resolve with return to sleep within a few minutes (though not always - last night she kept this one up intermittently for an hour). mr. flea has decided that this cry is "Godzuki looking for Mama Godzilla" and yes I do sometimes feel like an ill-tempered monster who ate Tokyo, thanks for asking. Serious crying is actually pretty rare at night. We are trying to be firm and let the "I want you" cry go, with touch-base every 5-10 minutes to reassure her we haven't moved to Alaska. This would probably be easier to take for long periods of time if she weren't in our room, but because my mother is so adamant I get her out of our room, I'm keeping her there. Nyah nyah. (Also, there are air conditioning issues, and it will shortly be impossible to sleep without it in our house).
I am a struggling mother, but I think I'm doing okay. I am no storybook mother, but also did not expect to be. I like the philsophy espoused by Muffy Mead-Ferro (such an unfortunate name!) in the NYT editorial page this AM. It is, in fact, not that dissimilar from the philosophy of my own mother. Don't tell her. Actually, I need to call her this afternoon and tell her exactly this. Despite all my criticism and defensiveness, I respect my mother's mothering a great deal. I also love her very much, and she knows it, and I know she loves me. She perhaps the biggest part of who I am (still) and would do anything required to help me if I were truly in need.
More minor bads: am slowly downloading prodigious quantity of phlegm from my head. Head hurts, throat hurts. Yesterday managed to get bad parenting advice from both sides - in-laws agree that the reason the baby doesn't sleep nights is I'm breastfeeding (um, no). Mother suggests many things - she is more sensible - but argues strongly that no baby can sleep well if in its parents' room, which is disproved by several babies I know, and suggests that she trained her children to be indepedent, and rarely had sleep difficulties. (Later reading of baby diaries for brother and sister - the latter one of those amazingly good sleepers, who still had to undergo a week-long "cry cure" at one point - disproves her statement, but I am magnanimously refraining from telling her so). So tired of parenting advice, but still have parenting problems cannot solve on own - a difficult catch-22.
Good parts of day: Casper just put herself down for a nap with no crying - I deposited her in the crib at her normal time, and played sleep on the bed, and she slowly inched her way to sleep. But no crying, and no help from me. We have decided that she has two night-time cries - one is "I want you" and can be safely ignored, and will often resolve with return to sleep within a few minutes (though not always - last night she kept this one up intermittently for an hour). mr. flea has decided that this cry is "Godzuki looking for Mama Godzilla" and yes I do sometimes feel like an ill-tempered monster who ate Tokyo, thanks for asking. Serious crying is actually pretty rare at night. We are trying to be firm and let the "I want you" cry go, with touch-base every 5-10 minutes to reassure her we haven't moved to Alaska. This would probably be easier to take for long periods of time if she weren't in our room, but because my mother is so adamant I get her out of our room, I'm keeping her there. Nyah nyah. (Also, there are air conditioning issues, and it will shortly be impossible to sleep without it in our house).
I am a struggling mother, but I think I'm doing okay. I am no storybook mother, but also did not expect to be. I like the philsophy espoused by Muffy Mead-Ferro (such an unfortunate name!) in the NYT editorial page this AM. It is, in fact, not that dissimilar from the philosophy of my own mother. Don't tell her. Actually, I need to call her this afternoon and tell her exactly this. Despite all my criticism and defensiveness, I respect my mother's mothering a great deal. I also love her very much, and she knows it, and I know she loves me. She perhaps the biggest part of who I am (still) and would do anything required to help me if I were truly in need.