(no subject)

My grandmother died this morning, following a stroke yesterday. She was 90; she was ready to go, having spent the last deade lamenting the deaths of her generation around her. She wanted to die quickly with no fuss and no pain, and she got her wish. She was fiercely independent and opinionated and kind of a pain in the ass. She lived alone until January. She believed strongly that a grandparent-grandchild relationship could be a great solace to both parties, and our relationship was certainly an example.

I'll write more at length about her later. For now, I'll her speak for herself (from a 1991 letter):

"I felt ... that my childhood was not particularly happy. We weren't allowed to ride bicycles, rollerskate, have friends over (we didn't have many friends). I'm sure we were considered "different." We didn't go to school until the 3rd grade, were taught to read at home. I must say, however, the good thing was that I have always loved to read and can't imagine life not reading. We were always expected to get all As, we had to take part in the 8th grade prize speaking contest and win the top prize. ... I, and I'm pretty sure [my sisters] before me, declaimed Patrick Henry's speech, after much tutoring by our father, and each won first prize. I have to laugh, and shudder a bit, to remember me dramatically saying "Give me liberty, or give me death" a skinny child of 11, with glasses, a Dutch haircut (cut by my father always) in a peach dress with lace-edged ruffles sewn by my mother, who made all our clothes. We were all expected to be valedictorians and were, and gave moralistic speeches written by our father. It shouldn't be much of a surprise to hear that when I went to Radcliffe [at 16...] I learned how to smoke, because my father had said "A girl who smokes will do anything." I had no idea what anything was, but I was sure the way to find out was to take the first step."

Grandmother as femme fatale...

Snippets from a letter dated July 24 1998. I remember reading it on the bus from Woods Hole to Boston, eyebrows raised higher and higher!

[1930-31?, freshman year at Radcliffe, grandmother is 16-17]
"The highlight of my years was belonging to the Radcliffe choral society. I think it was the first year that Radcliffe and Harvard glee clubs had been invited to be the pension fund performers for the Boston symphony. We sang the Bach B minor mass. At one of the rehearsals G. [my grandfather] tried to pick me up but I told him I had a ride home. That was with Howard Brooks, a senior and president of the glee club. [She knew him because he was the furnace repair man, paying his way through school, for the family for whom she was an au pair, paying her way through school.] Howard came along and saw G. and introduced me. G. said 'we just met.' It was several years before G. and I became seriously involved but I saw him from time to time and got him dates.

.... Two years ago North [one of her 'beaux', later a family friend] sent me some pages from a notebook he kept as a sophomore, mostly about moi. I read them with pleasure and interest to discover he thought of me as a femme fatale. I did have lots of fun. Anyway to backtrack a bit - the pension fund concerts were experiences, so wonderful. That first year the orchestra had a dress rehearsal and buffet supper for us and them in the basement of symphony hall. The double bass principal, whose last name began with Z, danced with me and invited me to go to Vienna with him for the summer. ...

[summer 1931?, coastal Maine/NH; grandmother is 17, au pair with a new family]
... I was responsible for Francis [age 5] all day and after he was in bed, with one afternoon off whoich I spent at the beach. ... Francis and I were in adjoining rooms and I stayed with him at night. One night Mr. B appeared and had more on his mind, to my consternation, than seeing how we were. He chased me around the bedroom to my surprise and horror, but I successfully fended him off. I didn;t know what to do aout this, surely not report it to his wife and I needed the job, so I kept quiet. I was glad when the summer ended and never thought to report it to Radcliffe [which had placed her with the family]. ...

[summer 1932?, new family as au pair, again at the beach, grandmother is 18]
... So that was OK, 3 little girls and days at the beach. I met a young man with a motor cycle and he took me riding on the back until my employers got my sister to forbid it. I didn't really mind. The Halls drank a lot, but the Browns were stable... [I have seen photographs of grandmother with the motocycle man, and in a wool bathing suit from this summer - my, those old-fashioned bathing suits were revealing in their way!]