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Apr. 4th, 2004 08:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fleaMy grandmother died this morning, following a stroke yesterday. She was 90; she was ready to go, having spent the last deade lamenting the deaths of her generation around her. She wanted to die quickly with no fuss and no pain, and she got her wish. She was fiercely independent and opinionated and kind of a pain in the ass. She lived alone until January. She believed strongly that a grandparent-grandchild relationship could be a great solace to both parties, and our relationship was certainly an example.
I'll write more at length about her later. For now, I'll her speak for herself (from a 1991 letter):
"I felt ... that my childhood was not particularly happy. We weren't allowed to ride bicycles, rollerskate, have friends over (we didn't have many friends). I'm sure we were considered "different." We didn't go to school until the 3rd grade, were taught to read at home. I must say, however, the good thing was that I have always loved to read and can't imagine life not reading. We were always expected to get all As, we had to take part in the 8th grade prize speaking contest and win the top prize. ... I, and I'm pretty sure [my sisters] before me, declaimed Patrick Henry's speech, after much tutoring by our father, and each won first prize. I have to laugh, and shudder a bit, to remember me dramatically saying "Give me liberty, or give me death" a skinny child of 11, with glasses, a Dutch haircut (cut by my father always) in a peach dress with lace-edged ruffles sewn by my mother, who made all our clothes. We were all expected to be valedictorians and were, and gave moralistic speeches written by our father. It shouldn't be much of a surprise to hear that when I went to Radcliffe [at 16...] I learned how to smoke, because my father had said "A girl who smokes will do anything." I had no idea what anything was, but I was sure the way to find out was to take the first step."
I'll write more at length about her later. For now, I'll her speak for herself (from a 1991 letter):
"I felt ... that my childhood was not particularly happy. We weren't allowed to ride bicycles, rollerskate, have friends over (we didn't have many friends). I'm sure we were considered "different." We didn't go to school until the 3rd grade, were taught to read at home. I must say, however, the good thing was that I have always loved to read and can't imagine life not reading. We were always expected to get all As, we had to take part in the 8th grade prize speaking contest and win the top prize. ... I, and I'm pretty sure [my sisters] before me, declaimed Patrick Henry's speech, after much tutoring by our father, and each won first prize. I have to laugh, and shudder a bit, to remember me dramatically saying "Give me liberty, or give me death" a skinny child of 11, with glasses, a Dutch haircut (cut by my father always) in a peach dress with lace-edged ruffles sewn by my mother, who made all our clothes. We were all expected to be valedictorians and were, and gave moralistic speeches written by our father. It shouldn't be much of a surprise to hear that when I went to Radcliffe [at 16...] I learned how to smoke, because my father had said "A girl who smokes will do anything." I had no idea what anything was, but I was sure the way to find out was to take the first step."
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Date: 2004-04-04 06:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-04 07:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-04 08:13 am (UTC)It was a sign, then, when she went into the hospital after her throat muscles went bad, and by the time she was moved into the assisted living place her desire to smoke had gone. After at least a pack a day (I think she cut down substantially after age 80) for the previous 74 years.
Still trying to imagine her as a femme fatale in the 30s. Must find pictures of her from that period -- I don't think I have a any of her before age, like, 75.
We'll talk later about practicalities, K?
She sounds like a remarkable woman
Date: 2004-04-04 08:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-04 09:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-04 10:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-04 12:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-04 12:07 pm (UTC)And do look for pictures -- someone dug up a photo of my flapper great-aunt recently, and it was fab. (She would have been around 90 by now -- my grandmother is also in the picture, but is still a little girl.)
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Date: 2004-04-04 01:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-04 05:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-05 09:43 pm (UTC)