I'm replying here since I accidentally deleted my other post. Like I said, I've always thought we would go the nanny route for many reasons. Then two weeks ago I was reading on this babycenter.com board about women who had problems with nannies. Two nannies there mentioned that, with what they know about how much they influence the kids they care for, they would never hire a nanny because they don't want someone else having that much influence over their kids.
I guess the feel that it comes to this. With a nanny, it is highly unlikely anything will go wrong, but if it does, it could be catastrophic because no one else is around. With daycare, you run a greater chance of ongoing, but minor things upsetting your child (less individual care, dirtier toys, more germs, whatever). These are almost certain to happen but aren't a big deal, except maybe in the cumulative.
I think my main trust issue comes from the fact that my brother was abused by someone in our family at a young age. I keep trying to separate that from Ellie but it's hard. No one knew what happened to him for 20 years and my parents thought they were making the right decision for him and his care. (He wasn't abused by a nanny or at daycare, so this isn't directly related.)
Despite all that, I still am leaning heavily towards a nanny. Ellie could be cared for at home, even when she's sick, and she could develop a close relationship with someone who truly cares about her. Au pairs/nannies are pretty common in the military because of the weird hours. I have several friends who have been very pleased with it. OTOH, I hired three maids in Brazil - 2 did not work out well and the last one was great. I guess I don't have a lot of confidence in my ability to hire the right person. I will have to think about this more in the next few months. I really want a nanny for Ellie - I just have to be sure I can find someone I trust enough.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2005-11-08 08:25 pm (UTC)I guess the feel that it comes to this. With a nanny, it is highly unlikely anything will go wrong, but if it does, it could be catastrophic because no one else is around. With daycare, you run a greater chance of ongoing, but minor things upsetting your child (less individual care, dirtier toys, more germs, whatever). These are almost certain to happen but aren't a big deal, except maybe in the cumulative.
I think my main trust issue comes from the fact that my brother was abused by someone in our family at a young age. I keep trying to separate that from Ellie but it's hard. No one knew what happened to him for 20 years and my parents thought they were making the right decision for him and his care. (He wasn't abused by a nanny or at daycare, so this isn't directly related.)
Despite all that, I still am leaning heavily towards a nanny. Ellie could be cared for at home, even when she's sick, and she could develop a close relationship with someone who truly cares about her. Au pairs/nannies are pretty common in the military because of the weird hours. I have several friends who have been very pleased with it. OTOH, I hired three maids in Brazil - 2 did not work out well and the last one was great. I guess I don't have a lot of confidence in my ability to hire the right person. I will have to think about this more in the next few months. I really want a nanny for Ellie - I just have to be sure I can find someone I trust enough.