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Entry tags:
middle class parental anxiety
I am so sick of embodying all the cliches of the upper middle class working family.
The worries about schooling: in addition to the Dillo daycare issues, I am following school redistricting, which is currently in the open meeting phase. Given the current maps it won't affect us, but will affect 20-60% of the students in the county. They are basically proposing to have only neighborhood schools, no choice and no magnets. The stated reason is to save school bus gas, and balance enrollment numbers, which are seriously out of whack. But really it's fraught with class and race and liberals caught in the 'public schools in a county with a very high poverty rate' dilemma. It seems like a pretty deeply flawed plan on some levels - they won't grandfather kids into their current schools, can't say for sure how many kids will be affected (20-60% is a pretty big range!), and haven't taken into account forced school choice caused by NCLB, and are pushing this through fast - first public notice was September 15 and they want to have letters out for new school assignments Dec. 1. And we only have an interim school superintendent and the school board is pretty dysfunctional.
The constant scramble just to get through life: I feel like everything hangs together by some sort of luck and miracle thread, and it's a continual cycle of dishes and dinners and laundry and bedtimes and not enough vacuuming or toilet cleaning and forget about just enjoying things. Always behind, always have a list. And we don't have any extra-curricular activities for the kids; I don't know how we could, frankly. Upper middle class family life is built on the assumption that there's a non-working or part-time working adult at home to take care of shit and drive the kids to shit. We aren't doing that; we don't want to do that, but the pressure to live like that is omnipresent. It's really bothering me that I am the only person at work with kids (plus my coworker with a new baby, and she's down to part time right now and having a really hard time and I'd give her a 40% chance of quitting her job in the next 6 months), and that all of the people we've met with kids have either a full-time stay at home parent, a part-time stay at home parent, or one or both parents who are academics, so they have extremely flexible schedules. All my vacation time so far is being saved for random days off school for Casper; mr. flea had to take Friday off because Dillo's daycare was closed for a random day; I can't figure out when I'm going to get myself or the kids to the doctor or the dentist.
I wish there was a way to opt out of all the "shoulds," but if I ignored things like school redistricting or dentist visits I would be an irresponsible parent, or citizen, or both (as it is, Casper has been to the dentist once, a year ago, and Dillo has never been - luckily I have awesome teeth and they got my genes). As it is I feel I'm barely contributing; I feel I should be volunteering at school, or involved in some community activity, or something.
The worries about schooling: in addition to the Dillo daycare issues, I am following school redistricting, which is currently in the open meeting phase. Given the current maps it won't affect us, but will affect 20-60% of the students in the county. They are basically proposing to have only neighborhood schools, no choice and no magnets. The stated reason is to save school bus gas, and balance enrollment numbers, which are seriously out of whack. But really it's fraught with class and race and liberals caught in the 'public schools in a county with a very high poverty rate' dilemma. It seems like a pretty deeply flawed plan on some levels - they won't grandfather kids into their current schools, can't say for sure how many kids will be affected (20-60% is a pretty big range!), and haven't taken into account forced school choice caused by NCLB, and are pushing this through fast - first public notice was September 15 and they want to have letters out for new school assignments Dec. 1. And we only have an interim school superintendent and the school board is pretty dysfunctional.
The constant scramble just to get through life: I feel like everything hangs together by some sort of luck and miracle thread, and it's a continual cycle of dishes and dinners and laundry and bedtimes and not enough vacuuming or toilet cleaning and forget about just enjoying things. Always behind, always have a list. And we don't have any extra-curricular activities for the kids; I don't know how we could, frankly. Upper middle class family life is built on the assumption that there's a non-working or part-time working adult at home to take care of shit and drive the kids to shit. We aren't doing that; we don't want to do that, but the pressure to live like that is omnipresent. It's really bothering me that I am the only person at work with kids (plus my coworker with a new baby, and she's down to part time right now and having a really hard time and I'd give her a 40% chance of quitting her job in the next 6 months), and that all of the people we've met with kids have either a full-time stay at home parent, a part-time stay at home parent, or one or both parents who are academics, so they have extremely flexible schedules. All my vacation time so far is being saved for random days off school for Casper; mr. flea had to take Friday off because Dillo's daycare was closed for a random day; I can't figure out when I'm going to get myself or the kids to the doctor or the dentist.
I wish there was a way to opt out of all the "shoulds," but if I ignored things like school redistricting or dentist visits I would be an irresponsible parent, or citizen, or both (as it is, Casper has been to the dentist once, a year ago, and Dillo has never been - luckily I have awesome teeth and they got my genes). As it is I feel I'm barely contributing; I feel I should be volunteering at school, or involved in some community activity, or something.
no subject
It gets easier every year they get older, though. Casper will get easier, and by the time Dillo is in kindergarten you'll be amazed at how things are lightening up.
The school redistricting sounds nightmarish. Yeesh. That's going to cause such a huge backlash and the entire school board may find itself voted out.
no subject
Lst week I actually called up the provincial library association president and volunteered to help with their next convention; there was a time I thought I'd never have the capacity for stuff like that again. Mind you, she's a co-worker I know & like so it won't be horribly onerous.