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Oy
Well, there's a lot going on:
1. So. Tired. I've had maybe 3 hours of sleep each of the past two nights, in non-continuous segments.
2. Yet, cannot sleep, due to being stressed out about:
3. Is baby okay (having exact same latching issues I had with Casper at first - it is hard to get tiny ones to open their mouths far enough to get a good latch, plus 24 hour bilirubin is on the high side so they'll test again at the ped tomorrow, so I fear we'll also repeat the Casper jaundice not bad enough to treat but resulting in sleepiness and forced waking to nurse and cold washcloth on the feet).
4. Also, it's hot and humid again so I get to be sweaty and worry that the baby is dehydrated. Why wasn't the human body designed so that the milk comes in faster???
5. Casper's a bit of a wreck, and it's stressful and sad-making. A lot of the time she seems fine, but then she'll have a breakdown. And of course she suggested we leave the baby at the hospital.
6. Did I mention I hate being in the hospital? They don't let you fucking sleep, they keep taking away your fucking baby, the food sucks and it's a gigantic paperworky pain in the ass. I was very happy with my care from admittance to an hour after delivery, and then rolled my eyes and huffed in impatience for the next 26 hours until we got to go home. On the plus side, their air conditioning is better than ours. Redoubling the negative, there's no wifi in the entire damned place.
7. Another positive: except for the so tired I have a headache and could die, I feel really great for having had a baby 36 hours ago.
8. My mother's also stressing me out a bit. Such is life.
I want to write up about the amazing speed and intensity but easiness of Dillo's birth, and how he cried a lot at first (unlike Casper) and was all puffy and Winston-Churchill-y (unlike Casper) but after a first big nap spent most of last evening and night awake and alert and all about his fingers, which are slim and looong and hyperextend and he rubs his face and successfully gets one in his mouth and sucks it like a mad thing. (See, if they'd had wifi I would have been writing this at 12am instead of annoyedly waiting for them to return my kid.)
Instead you get tired sweaty worried sleepy baby cranky toddler worries. Sorry. But, there are pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/casperflea/
1. So. Tired. I've had maybe 3 hours of sleep each of the past two nights, in non-continuous segments.
2. Yet, cannot sleep, due to being stressed out about:
3. Is baby okay (having exact same latching issues I had with Casper at first - it is hard to get tiny ones to open their mouths far enough to get a good latch, plus 24 hour bilirubin is on the high side so they'll test again at the ped tomorrow, so I fear we'll also repeat the Casper jaundice not bad enough to treat but resulting in sleepiness and forced waking to nurse and cold washcloth on the feet).
4. Also, it's hot and humid again so I get to be sweaty and worry that the baby is dehydrated. Why wasn't the human body designed so that the milk comes in faster???
5. Casper's a bit of a wreck, and it's stressful and sad-making. A lot of the time she seems fine, but then she'll have a breakdown. And of course she suggested we leave the baby at the hospital.
6. Did I mention I hate being in the hospital? They don't let you fucking sleep, they keep taking away your fucking baby, the food sucks and it's a gigantic paperworky pain in the ass. I was very happy with my care from admittance to an hour after delivery, and then rolled my eyes and huffed in impatience for the next 26 hours until we got to go home. On the plus side, their air conditioning is better than ours. Redoubling the negative, there's no wifi in the entire damned place.
7. Another positive: except for the so tired I have a headache and could die, I feel really great for having had a baby 36 hours ago.
8. My mother's also stressing me out a bit. Such is life.
I want to write up about the amazing speed and intensity but easiness of Dillo's birth, and how he cried a lot at first (unlike Casper) and was all puffy and Winston-Churchill-y (unlike Casper) but after a first big nap spent most of last evening and night awake and alert and all about his fingers, which are slim and looong and hyperextend and he rubs his face and successfully gets one in his mouth and sucks it like a mad thing. (See, if they'd had wifi I would have been writing this at 12am instead of annoyedly waiting for them to return my kid.)
Instead you get tired sweaty worried sleepy baby cranky toddler worries. Sorry. But, there are pictures: http://www.flickr.com/photos/casperflea/
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I don't even like to think about how much we're going to spend on air conditioning this summer, but it is SO TOTALLY WORTH IT. Usually we keep it up around 78 degrees, but I've got it down to 74 now and I just don't care what the utility bill says.
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Poor Casper. I was 9 when my mum had my wee sis, and I remember being largely YAY, but it was still a bit conflicty. But she's going to enjoy being The Boss Of 'Dillo once he's ambulatory, and she's going to enjoy being worshipped by him, AND they're close enough in age that they can still have more playing-together type of relationship (whereas I got to Be Mum quite a lot, with nearly a decade between us).
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
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Sorry things are so stressy and hot and all that, but so pleased that things went so well with the quick birth. Hope things calm down over the next few days and you get a bit more sleep. I know that's one of the things that just completely throws me off.
You take care! Oh, and look for a package shortly :).
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And poor Casper! The transition from Only to Older has got to be even more overwhelming when you're so small you haven't got the vocabulary to rant it out, or even articulate it. A couple months from now, I'll be happy to hear any advice you have to offer on making it easier for the older sibling.
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Owen's topsy turvy world reaction peaked in the first week. He dealt with it over the next three weeks okish. By the first month, it got WAY better.
Casper's a smart girl and she seems very mature and wise for her age. I hope she can see the silver lining of big sisterhood.
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Here's to Casper adjusting to the paradigm shift.
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