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email from mr. flea with general Casper news
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This morning I was buttering my toast when Casper spontaneously opened the fridge and got the jam out in anticipation of my need for it. She held that jar up examining it and remarked that it was empty. I asked her to bring it to me explaining that I could still get some jam out. She brought it to me actually being helpful. It was amazing!
The drop off went well this morning. They were in their regular class room this morning and Ms. Roxy [substitute because Miss Rosa is on vacation] was there. She is my favorite because she likes Casper. We talked about how well she behaves in class compared to how she behaves at home. Quite a surprising difference. And their breakfast snack was pancakes and strawberries. We should read the run away pancake tonight at story time.
Comments:
Casper learned how to open the fridge on Monday night. We discovered this when she wandered off during the watching of Funny Videos and returned bearing the peanut butter jar and a loaf of bread, both of which are stored in the fridge, and asked us to make her a snack. As I remarked at the time, "We're doooomed!" She's also recently mastered getting her step stool so she can turn on and off light switches, turning on and off the TV with both the remote and the button on the set (she thinks this is very funny when I am watching something), and turning off the computer, both mr. flea's laptop and the desktop. The laptop pops up a window when you press the on/off button asking "Do you really want to do this?" but the computer doesn't, so I can be typing along and thinking she is making piles of coins on the floor or whatever, and suddenly the computer is off. Grrr. So I speak sharply and then she cries.
I have (so far) had two very amusingly wrong ideas about child development. First was, that the most extreme childproofing comes at the beginning, when they get mobile but have no sense and can't even understand "no." Relatedly, I had this idea that at the point that a child could speak and understand, that child would suddenly develop into a rational being. The mid-twos have taught me the truth - Casper has gotten much more curious and into things lately, and is in more real danger than she was when she was 1, because she can climb well and reason well enough to puzzle out how to get on top of a table or to pull a chair over to reach things. Also, she just has more destructive/dangerous ideas than she did before, and while she speaks and understands a lot, she also tests the rules and still lacks vital understanding of cause and effect and consequences in some areas. She's no Leif son of Gudanov, mind you, and has not yet undone any child locks, pulled any escapes, or made any spectacular messes just to see what happens. But the potential is there now, just when I had imagined I could be relaxing.
School has been going fine. I am still not as good at talking to the teachers as mr. flea, which is basically a temperament problem. Casper handles the drop-off well now, and mr. flea has seen some other kids not dealing well on occasion, so he feels better about that. I am still getting a lot of crying when I leave the house in the morning, especially this week after such a long vacation.
mr. flea picked up Casper a little early yesterday and went to meet the nanny, Alexander, Ellen, and Lizzie at a park. He plans to make this a Wednesday routine, so we can keep up the relationships. Casper loved it; the first thing she said when they got home as I asked how her day went was, "Alexander was there!" (An aside: Alexander and Lizzie now plan to get married. When mr. flea asked Casper who she wanted to marry, expecting her to reply "Alexander," she told him, "Mommy." Yes, I am still number one around the place. I am actually looking forward to the Oedipal stage - that still exists, right?)
As for behavior, Casper has always been an angel with other caregivers, and more of a normal toddler with us. I'm worrying lately that we are too lax; partly this is a result of having just spent time with my mother, who continually does little tiny criticisms. Although on the latest trip she did manage to give an only partly backhanded compliment on our parenting, "You're much more patient than I was." At home, Casper almost never sits at the table and eats steadily through a whole meal. There's usually some sitting in a parent's lap, some running away, some needing to be coaxed to eat and fed bites, or all of the above. At school, she sits down and eats by herself, with nobody even telling her what to do. Are we doing something wrong, or is this normal? We don't yell, and don't force her to sit, but we do regularly fetch her back to the table, tell her to sit down in her chair every 30 seconds, etc. In other words, we aren't allowing chaos and are trying to both model and encourage regular mealtime behavior.
In other worries of the week, because of the stupid New York Times style section I am now worried that you all view this journal as me bragging about my kid. I don't intend it to be that way; it's a lot about Casper on purpose, of course, and I do love her and think she does wonderful things, but I hope this doesn't come across as bragging. I also hope it's not too boring. I suppose if it does or is you just de-friend or skim, right?
This morning I was buttering my toast when Casper spontaneously opened the fridge and got the jam out in anticipation of my need for it. She held that jar up examining it and remarked that it was empty. I asked her to bring it to me explaining that I could still get some jam out. She brought it to me actually being helpful. It was amazing!
The drop off went well this morning. They were in their regular class room this morning and Ms. Roxy [substitute because Miss Rosa is on vacation] was there. She is my favorite because she likes Casper. We talked about how well she behaves in class compared to how she behaves at home. Quite a surprising difference. And their breakfast snack was pancakes and strawberries. We should read the run away pancake tonight at story time.
Comments:
Casper learned how to open the fridge on Monday night. We discovered this when she wandered off during the watching of Funny Videos and returned bearing the peanut butter jar and a loaf of bread, both of which are stored in the fridge, and asked us to make her a snack. As I remarked at the time, "We're doooomed!" She's also recently mastered getting her step stool so she can turn on and off light switches, turning on and off the TV with both the remote and the button on the set (she thinks this is very funny when I am watching something), and turning off the computer, both mr. flea's laptop and the desktop. The laptop pops up a window when you press the on/off button asking "Do you really want to do this?" but the computer doesn't, so I can be typing along and thinking she is making piles of coins on the floor or whatever, and suddenly the computer is off. Grrr. So I speak sharply and then she cries.
I have (so far) had two very amusingly wrong ideas about child development. First was, that the most extreme childproofing comes at the beginning, when they get mobile but have no sense and can't even understand "no." Relatedly, I had this idea that at the point that a child could speak and understand, that child would suddenly develop into a rational being. The mid-twos have taught me the truth - Casper has gotten much more curious and into things lately, and is in more real danger than she was when she was 1, because she can climb well and reason well enough to puzzle out how to get on top of a table or to pull a chair over to reach things. Also, she just has more destructive/dangerous ideas than she did before, and while she speaks and understands a lot, she also tests the rules and still lacks vital understanding of cause and effect and consequences in some areas. She's no Leif son of Gudanov, mind you, and has not yet undone any child locks, pulled any escapes, or made any spectacular messes just to see what happens. But the potential is there now, just when I had imagined I could be relaxing.
School has been going fine. I am still not as good at talking to the teachers as mr. flea, which is basically a temperament problem. Casper handles the drop-off well now, and mr. flea has seen some other kids not dealing well on occasion, so he feels better about that. I am still getting a lot of crying when I leave the house in the morning, especially this week after such a long vacation.
mr. flea picked up Casper a little early yesterday and went to meet the nanny, Alexander, Ellen, and Lizzie at a park. He plans to make this a Wednesday routine, so we can keep up the relationships. Casper loved it; the first thing she said when they got home as I asked how her day went was, "Alexander was there!" (An aside: Alexander and Lizzie now plan to get married. When mr. flea asked Casper who she wanted to marry, expecting her to reply "Alexander," she told him, "Mommy." Yes, I am still number one around the place. I am actually looking forward to the Oedipal stage - that still exists, right?)
As for behavior, Casper has always been an angel with other caregivers, and more of a normal toddler with us. I'm worrying lately that we are too lax; partly this is a result of having just spent time with my mother, who continually does little tiny criticisms. Although on the latest trip she did manage to give an only partly backhanded compliment on our parenting, "You're much more patient than I was." At home, Casper almost never sits at the table and eats steadily through a whole meal. There's usually some sitting in a parent's lap, some running away, some needing to be coaxed to eat and fed bites, or all of the above. At school, she sits down and eats by herself, with nobody even telling her what to do. Are we doing something wrong, or is this normal? We don't yell, and don't force her to sit, but we do regularly fetch her back to the table, tell her to sit down in her chair every 30 seconds, etc. In other words, we aren't allowing chaos and are trying to both model and encourage regular mealtime behavior.
In other worries of the week, because of the stupid New York Times style section I am now worried that you all view this journal as me bragging about my kid. I don't intend it to be that way; it's a lot about Casper on purpose, of course, and I do love her and think she does wonderful things, but I hope this doesn't come across as bragging. I also hope it's not too boring. I suppose if it does or is you just de-friend or skim, right?
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It's you, and your life, and what that's all about. As it should be, I think.
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This is an important observation which will help you get from the mid-twos to the more rational age (for Emmett it was about 4 1/2). I had to come to the same realization.
FWIW, we were forced to become more disciplining, boundary-enforcing parents because Emmett tested tested tested all through the 2-4 stage. It wasn't our natural inclination but obviously what he needed.
Also, there's absolutely nothing off-putting or bragging about doting on your child. She's a very lovely kid, you know?
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That article was pants, as Tom might say. It sucked. It made no distiction between "OMG my baby took a dump! That is so adorable!" and "OMG my baby's dump smells better than anybody else's in the world!!" The former, you get exciting observations about the fact that infant excreta are startlingly loud; the latter, just boring ego-massage.
It struck me as very much a rich-Manhattan-bubble article, which, I guess I shouldn't expect better than that of the Times, but I do.
Now, if you had claimed that Casper invented the stepstool, or was the most agile button-pusher in the state, I might be forced to sic our mother and her ego-deflating skills upon you. But, I'm thinking that will not actually be necessary.
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Me, I LOVE the blogs of y'all with kids--it so different from my experience, and it's fascinating, and it's something that I haven't ever gotten to participate in up-close (ie, none of my local friends have had kids, or not the kind of friend I'd see all the time and know how the kid is developing). So it's a learning experience, and awesome.
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Franny too. At school she sits, serves herself, and eats, with minimal misbehavior. At home, she squirms, refuses to eat, rubs food on the table when she's bored, etc. Not horrible misbehavior, but certainly stuff I KNOW they don't tolerate at daycare.
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