flea

Well, today sucked.

2012-03-01T01:22:06Z

1. I had to leave the room while in a meeting at work, because I didn't trust my ability to keep my temper.

2. I spent most of the day working on a big spreadsheet. I've had students work in it at various times, and at some point somebody - I sure as hell hope not me - sorted one of the columns but not all of them, so that the data are now mismatched. In good news, some of it is still okay - it doesn't all have to be done from scratch - but in not so good news, you can't necessarily tell by looking whether the data in a given row is right or not. So I really ought to check everything. All 1200 items.

3. mr. flea had to call the mortgage company again. They accidentally paid $4000 from our escrow account to a random county in which our house is not located. They have been remarkably remiss in clearing up this error, and our statement for payment, due tomorrow, asks us to pay an extra $500 to start rebuilding our escrow. They said we should go ahead and pay the old amount, and they will send us a new statement eventually. My distrust of the company is such that I worry that this is some trick to declare us delinquent and make us pay huge fees.

4. Casper has been having homework fits all week. Tears and procrastination and the whole thing. Tonight is no different. Tomorrow a book report is due.

5. The uptight downstairs neighbor pounded on the ceiling, at 7pm on a Wednesday, because Dillo was dancing around in the dining room (which is uncarpeted because, hey dining room, with messy kids at the table). Dillo wasn't even wearing shoes. This is not the first incident of ceiling-pounding, and the other weekend said neighbor had a freakout at mr. flea because the children were running to and fro. At noon on a Sunday. Being, you know, kids. It makes me feel like we don;t have a right to have actual lives.

I miss our own house and my old job and our lives.

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forever house

2011-12-14T00:15:59Z

Casper had a hard day for no reason at school yesterday, and came home with a drawing of our "forever house." We've been talking about this since before we moved; some of it is silly, and some of it is real. Casper wants a fireplace, a big porch, a tree that's right for a treehouse, and a creek in the back yard. Also, a weeping willow. (She wanted a weeping willow for the treehouse, but I explained they were not well suited for such.) She also at various points has wanted dolphins and a Giant Pacific Octopus to live in the creek (while realizing this is environmentally implausible).

Today Dillo said he liked our old house better than this house because it had good places to play outside. Yesterday at after school he drew our current house, quite nicely and accurately, with the driveway and our car and his room and the big field in back that we sometimes let the kids play in.

I'm having a hard day today myself; it's dark, and our schedule has me in the car 80 minutes a day, and we don't meet anyone at the kids' school due to it so we don't know anyone except our (very nice) neighbors, and my job is high-stress and poorly paying, and we won't have much of a Christmas (we're not poor; it's lack of effort and inspiration) and it feels like obligation rather than joy to see family and exchange gifts. I am mourning our move today. I liked our OLD forever house.

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Rats. Double rats.

2011-10-18T16:25:44Z

I went to put flannel sheets on Casper's bed and discovered the ones I had in my hand were the ratty old double bed flannel sheets. Which means the really nice 3-year-old Garnet Hill flannel sheets for Casper's bed were probably given to Goodwill. (The sets are basically the same color, but I though I kept them in separate places.)

Then I went to start my afternoon's task and apply for a job - at a law firm, but the ad speaks only of general reference experience and not of law library experience. Unfortunately on this read-through I noted that they require a valid driver's license and the ability to drive between regional offices as part of the job. So, no.

I think I need to go bake brownies in an attempt to salvage this day.

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Oh there is so much

2011-10-14T16:19:33Z

Let us begin with school. The school is a "neighborhood" public school, in a very nice neighborhood (some rentals in the zone, but houses for sale at $4-500,000 are the standard.) Judging by eye the student body is about 10% non-white, largely black but a few Asians (south and east); I have not seen a child I would guess is Latino. There are a lot of blondes; we're back in the land of the Germans! We're scheduled to get on the bus route on October 24 (there is no stop within 1/4 mile of our house, so they have to create a stop for us, and this takes 2 weeks), but in the meantime our routine is mr. flea drives us all to school at about 8:30; the kids play on the playground and I watch them (other kids start showing up by 8:45, the before-school program, kids off the buses, and drop-offs); and at 9:15 they line up and go into school and I walk 2.1 miles home.

In the afternoon I walk 2.1 miles back to school, pick the kids up when they are released at 3:35, and we all walk home. We haven't actually walked the whole thing yet. Day 1 we were 2/3 of the way home and our neighbors drove by and picked us up (on purpose - I had mentioned the bus assignment delay, and their 8 year old saw us from her schoolbus and begged her mother to come get us so they could play. Neighbor 8 year old and Casper have hit it off great guns - a sleepover is planned for tonight.) Yesterday it rained and mr. flea did the pickup, but he forgot and was late and was unreachable at work, so if it rains again I am calling Nice Neighbor and asking for help rather than spending an hour and a half trying not to panic about whether someone is picking up my kids. Today is cool but sunny and I am planning to break at the library.

Dillo is in K is a large mixed class (I think it's actually K and 1 together) of about 36 kids and 2 teachers, although one of the teacher is his primary. He seems to be doing fine, and the work is at his level, and to his interests (they are doing planets and the sun; we had a talk about why Pluto was no longer a planet this morning). He had an accident yesterday, but this is hardly unusual for him.

In general, Dillo has pretty much taught himself to read this past month. He sounds out words everywhere and all the time - from boxes, on signs, anything with letters. He hasn't grasped the Silent E concept yet, and in general tends to be frustrated that letters do not always make the same sounds, but once he's read a word he tends to remember it. SO completely different from Casper at this age, who got letter identification and sounds, but never had any spontaneous interest in sounding out words and in fact is still not very good at it.

Casper is in 3rd grade in a small classroom with about 20 kids and 1 teacher and a part-time student aide. She got off to a decent start socially - the teacher cleverly seating her next to an extremely social and outgoing girl - but has been overwhelmed and disorganized about work. She never brought the homework packet home, and I discovered last night that she had a spelling test today, but she had no idea on which chapter in the spelling book, and she seems to have lost the book (Danger Along the Ohio) that is serving as their reading and social studies text (it has never come home). The teacher has been responsive to email, so I hope we can get Casper sorted out soon. She is happy, in general, and they have started division (with Smarties) and she picked it right up, and I sent her in with $5 to buy a recorder for music class.

At home she had a brief phase of obsessively reading Dahl's Matilda (her proper first chapter book) but she has stalled out on p. 91 and I need to get her going again. Neighbor 8 year old takes a dance class that seems fine, so I think we will sign Casper up for that too. Next to look at are Girl Scouts (although she does not seem interested at the moment), and maybe Art club at school, and then when our finances settle out some kind of music lessons I think.

Every afternoon the 4 kids on the block play together, outside, at their house, and at ours (Neighbors have a 5 year old girl with an October birthday, so she is still in preschool; she and Dillo are not BFFs like Casper and the 8 year old, but they deal perfectly well). I was brave and spent 45 minutes with the parents over a glass of wine yesterday (and nearly burned our soup - gas stoves are enthusiastic!) so I am starting to get to know them.

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moving post of whine

2011-10-08T00:55:08Z

Our stuff is supposed to come tomorrow, in the 8-9am window. (When they packed us, 8-9 window meant arrival on foot at 10:15, and arrival of truck past 11, so I will not be holding my breath tomorrow.)

I should be happy! I'll be able to cook things requiring more than 1 saucepan and 1 baking pan! I'll have weather-appropriate clothing! (I packed the suitcase for fall, and got summer.) I'll have a decent bed!

I'm miserable. I don't want to move here. Oops, I guess we sort of already did. I want to live in MY house, with MY yard, and MY neighbors, and MY school. Not all this new stuff. Bringing the actual stuff tomorrow means we actually live here. Don' wanna!

(And we're lucky, good permanent federal job, this economy, yadda yadda. Which makes my whininess about moving to a wealthy neighborhood with excellent public schools insufferable.)

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shining moments in parenting

2011-10-06T12:05:36Z

mr. flea: What happened here? Why is this all wet?
me: Someone knocked over a cup of water!
mr. flea: Who knocked over a cup of water?
me: That fucking cat!
Casper: What fucking cat?
Dillo: *Simon* fucking cat!

We're in Cincinnati. Surviving. Facebook is for hearts and flowers, but this apartment is not as nice as our house, and they aren't bringing our furniture until MONDAY at the earliest now. (The day the packed it, it was Friday.)

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sad now

2011-09-25T16:29:15Z

Aside from the things that are a lot of work, like packing and getting the house tidied up and dealing with the children and I found a FLEA on Older Cat yesterday but we only have one dose of Frontline, I'm really sad. I don't want to move. I don't care much for me, although I'm worried about finding a job and excited to have better weather, but I am sad about moving the kids constantly. Like, every day dropping them off at school nearly in tears, every time they play outside with our neighbors nearly in tears sad. They have such a great life here, and we're taking them away from it. They will ultimately be fine - mr. flea told me there was a posse of kids playing on our new street this morning - but it's going to be hard getting there.

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Ok, so.

2011-09-09T00:04:01Z

We have a place to live. It's the 2-3 floor apartment of a 2-family, brick, vaguely tudor-style foursquare ca. 1910 or so. Hardwoods on 2, and berberish on 3, where there are slightly sloping ceilings. I think the kids go up there. Only 1 bathroom, on 2. Not much of a kitchen, but it has a dishwasher. W/D and storage in the basement. Quiet street, it dead-ends in unused train tracks and backs up against the Whole Foods Parking. It's flat with big sidewalks and street trees. We have 2 spaces in a garage but no back yard, and a maybe 8-foot wide front yard, and a balcony above the porch. The kids will have to take the bus to school; it's at least 3 miles. But I can walk to the nice local bookstore, and Whole Foods and Kroger, and Hyde Park square with 3 pilates studios and a post office and library. Buses to downtown stop at the end of the street.

mr. flea is leaving here Saturday afternoon and plans to stay with friends (whom I strongly suspect he has not yet contacted; I offered to contact my father and/or our mutual friends who have a guest room, but he makes his own bed, so to speak.) He can get into the house on Thursday night.

My last day at work is 9/30 and we haven't made a moving plan yet. Movers are pricey but I suspect right now we do not have the reserves to deal with a UHaul situation. I have lined up transportation for Casper to dance classes for all but the last. I need to make some calls to get a grocery solution (probably our neighbor - I can leave the kids at her house and we can shop together; we did this once before when our car died.) I can do school. I am working 4-day weeks until I finish, as well, and tonight is my last evening shift.

mr. flea has been trying to get everything scheduled as far as house stuff; he had a painter in today and is getting an estimate, and I think has scheduled the driveway-gravelling folks. There may be some porch and deck painting to do, which I can probably do, and some general yard-tidying. The porch is done and the fellow mr. flea has been working with is trustworthy, so I am comfortable with him having a couple of days worth of things he'll be doing after mr. flea goes.

I started packing things for mr. flea to take; an aerobed (and once in the house he can buy a mattress, since Dillo's is impossibly sprung and should have been replaced ages ago), the porch chairs and table (all folding), a duffel with sheets and towels and his clothes, a box of kitchen basics, and boxes and boxes for his office. The last is the most problematic - really, a lot could be recycled, but I can't make those decisions for him.

There's a lot to do. There's stuff I'd like to be rid of, but would like to get a return on; I've listed a beautiful fancy but impractical chair on craigslist, and I'd love to get rid of one of our four sets of dishes, but I suspect that will not happen. I've been culling stuff as I go through spaces and putting everything I don't want to keep in my closet, but I have to decide what to do with it. And I won't have transportation. A yard sale might just be a decent way to get people to come take my stuff. The hardest culling - of the toy bins - is yet to come, too.

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In addition to the practical...

2011-08-29T18:19:47Z

...issues with moving 500 miles, selling an house, etc., there's a lot of emotion involved in moving. Emotion besides stress. Oh my god, I'm moving back to Cincinnati! The city where my father grew up, where my parents met, where I was born, where I attended graduate school (and ultimately didn't finish a PhD), where I met mr. flea, where we got married. It's very strange. It's not a place I expected to be again, not a place I expected to raise my kids and settle. (Not that Georgia was either, needless to say; at my age I should have learned to stop expecting anything in particular out of life, but still.)

I'm trying to focus on the good things - Thai Express in Clifton is still making excellent and cheap pad thai; the Bonbonerie in O'Bryonville still makes tangerine moon cake (our wedding cake); presumably Ault Park still looks like Ault Park.

We're planning to visit this weekend, and hope to find a place to rent. Lot of driving, lot of processing.

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Moving is Hard

2011-08-17T18:05:33Z

I think this is my first post out of friendslock, but we're planning a big move to Ohio in 6 weeks. mr. flea was offered an excellent job rather suddenly, and we'll be moving to Cincinnati. This has many excellent aspects - we will be closer to family, especially the children's cousins (only an hour away!) and grandparents; mr. flea gets a nice raise, a steady job with excellent benefits and a fair amount of tenure doing work he really likes with excellent people; we have many friends still in Cincinnati from when we lived there in the late 1990s. On the down side, there is a lot of work. On the serious down side, we will be leaving the wonderful neighbors and elementary school community we have had in Athens.

I wrote to the kids' teachers today to tell them about the move. And now I'm crying at my desk because Casper's art teacher wrote such a sweet note. "[Casper] has a real gift in art and I truly hope that she continues to pursue it. She is really special." "I would love to see some pictures of Casper’s art as she grows up."

(Like we could possibly stop Casper from continuing to make art. But we're taking her away from lovely Miss D.!)

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