To Join, or Not To Join?

[flea]

I've been invited to join a book club, a newly-forming one. Three years ago Sunshine's father gave her a gift certificate to Magnolia Grill (=local fancy restuarant), and instead of going herself, she invted all the new(ish) mothers of her acquaintance for dessert. Then her father died, and left some money, and she's made the dessert night an annual thing. This spring when we went people talked about books, and someone suggested a book club for mothers, who don't have a lot of time to read, would be nice. A low-key book club. The first meeting is tomorrow, at the house of one of the people I know slightly. We've sent in suggested books, and at this first meeting we'll discuss which we want to read. We're supposed to bring potluck snacky things. My knowledge of the people ranges from well (1) to slightly (2-3) to basically not at all (3-4).

I'd like to read some of the books suggested: Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime; Tracy Kidder's book on Paul Farmer. Several of them seem to be required freshman reading in the local colleges over the past several years (Nickel and Dimed, The Kite Runner). I suggested West With the Night and To Say Nothing of the Dog (the latter despite the request "please no science fiction"!!) Anyway, the mix seems manageable for my tastes and not too Oprah-y.

Practically, I think this could be manageable, though it's two neighborhoods away, a longish walk, and the mess of children's bedtimes makes it complex. (I think if I go tomorrow, I'll feed the Dillo at 7, get mr. flea to drive me over - it's at 7:30 - then he can put Dillo to bed while parking Casper with some Muppet Show or something, and then put her to bed. I'd either get a ride home or walk home.) What makes me reluctant is a real problem I have with joining stuff. I am so Not A Joiner. I lurked forever (probably a year, anyway) at b.org. I don't play group sports. I sometimes join things because I feel they are worthwhile and nobody else is willing to (see also, involvement in parent organization), but generally, no. So I can't decide.

Ah well. At least by writing this I spared you all the real debate that has been obsessing me for 12 weeks now, To Have Another Child Or Not?? (Yes, it is ridiculous to ponder this when Second Child is less than 3 months old. But, if we don't, I get to get rid of all kinds of stuff like maternity clothes, infant stuff as he outgrows it. And I am mildly obsessed with having less stuff in my house.)

Comments

[mearagrrl.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed To Say Nothing of the Dog a lot, but had a hard time getting into it the first time I read it--but when I read it after having read Domesday Book, then I understood and enjoyed.

Book club (and dessert thing!) sounds like fun! Stressing about third child, while understandable given the practicalities, sounds crazy. Don't do it! (Stress, that is).

[mightyurchin.livejournal.com]

Not being a joiner myself, I say give the book club a try. You can always back out if it's not to your liking (and cite something like scheduling or distance or bedtime issues or something practical like that so as not to offend), or just show up when you can/want to. I was in a book club/dinner club thing for a little while (until the organizer moved away) and it was fun - and far less join-y than my more concrete adventure in joining things, which involved a commitment and actual work (not so fun). But this doesn't appear to involve much of a commitment and very little work.

[forodwaith.livejournal.com]

I'm not much of a joiner either and I really enjoy my bookclub. It's a nice core group of people and (other than the one woman I know very well) there's no pressure to socialize with them outside the club. We just get together once a month, drink wine & talk books.